All the little things

Not really a witty or smart tittle but i really couldn't be arsed, it is after all 10 am.

It's Life Jim... but we could always hit it with an inverse tachyon beam...

Damn the past week just seemed to fly by.

After all the week before i was actually doing hard labour. Well as hard as nursing can be, well even then it was quiet enough. Even for "quiet" days you'd still be knackered. Despite most people being more than capable of cleaning themselves you still have to pace up and down like mad fetching basin's and sponge's for them. Or stand over the slightly infirmed in case they need a hand.

Then there's the tediousness of tasks. Nothing but fucking tasks. I will be more than glad to take on more responsibility. Hell i know i'm not exactly a good nurse, but i'd be better if i was let to more so i could learn something more than doing this and that like a lap dog. The care of 1 or two patients would be nice, the less needy the better for the moment. I wouldn't exactly want to take on someone going down for surgery or just back or anything... that's more of a team effort...

No give me the cheery interesting folk that i have to berate to look after themselves and re-enforce that they have to get out of here so that more sick people or bigger wastes of space can take their "bed". I can manage those just fine. That and it's more entertaining.

Although interesting or risky patients are good fun. The old forcing of Oral Hygiene and close watching of more than a dozen extra vital signs and blood results. I have to say that's good to. Mainly with cancer patients as you have to watch so much.

Although even on experienced cancer wards you have to ask WTF? Even of experienced, or supposed to be, doctors.

Like an instance of a consultation over a patients high blood sugar. Not only was he NOT EATING, he was also Type one Diabetic with a large metastases on his pancreas. No matter what the fuck we did, even with an Endocrine consultation or Diabetic nurse specialist referral he would still have fucked up blood sugar. He was deeply sick. But yet a doctor goes ahead and ask's openly "what do we do". You're an expert in one field of a complex biological machine, YOU figure it out. Oh and he DOES, by the way, HAVE A SMALL CANCER ON HIS PANCREAS, so any diabetic control isn't exactly helpful.

Yeah, we nurse's get resentful sometimes. If anything it was a valid question. But the issue slowly resolved itself, or i hoped so as he left after that round of chemo.

As for what i have been doing for the past week. I actually don't know. Very little i assume.

I seriously need to start studying. I have it in my head that i need a schedule and all this hullabaloo.

What i also need is ALL my notes. A work ethic/routine. And probably some NEW stationary.

Every time i try and make a new study effort i get new stationary. Even if there's plenty of paper left in my last notebook, at this stage most are tattered beyond neat use.

So i have that in my head. I DONT HAVE PENS. I DONT HAVE MY NOTES. I DONT HAVE PAPER, INTACT PAPER! I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO FIRST. WHICH SHOULD I PRIORITISE? ARRRRRRRGGGGHHHHH.

It's a horrible world to know that every OTHER thought you have is wrong.

I "KNOW" a lot of things. I know EXACTLY what my problems are. But solving them or stopping them isn't exactly easy. I've tried many a time but i'm more than reluctant to. After all feckless selfish self gratification through avoiding my problems and being a sponging layabout is so much easier than ANY effort what-so-ever.

Now i no way will i ever try and justify my position. I know i must be fucking awful. But my actions speak louder than my thoughts on the matter.

And my main action is sitting on my arse.

There's a nagging want inside of me to actually do things. To be active. To make things. To do things. To socialise, something i am always inept at. To do everything I would want to do. Not what i always do.

I find i write blogs to quell the thirst to write. 5 years ago i quelled my nagging mind by writing lyrics. When i needed it most and was clouded by my first relationship and failed second year, i also didn't write. This year i wrote. I not only wrote here but i started 2 stories. One of which has progressed as far as 4 chapters. As always i still talk to myself. But not JUST simple comments. I play out story idea's to myself like i'm having conversations in the universe's i create. I even use hand gesture's and sound effects to indicate swooping spaceships and explosions. It helps.

The Drive to write is sometimes such an overpowering itch that it becomes unbearable. You have to do something. You have to burry you mind in music. In movies and television. In reading other people's blogs, or the odd time proper books. It's in the mundane calm of pointless Internet searching that i seemed to escape the positive drives within me.

Muse's:

For instance. On Thursday i went CRAZY trying to create my idea of a website.

This was nearly hurting me. I for no reason what-so-ever was growing angry and frustrated that i couldn't event a name for it that fitted my non-fixed idea and also wasn't taken.

I went through dozens of scribbled idea's. I searched google relentlessly. I then in frustration attempted to create it without a proper name. After much anger at names being taken i finally found one that let me through to the creation process.

It was here i got even more mad. It wasn't what i wanted. It just wasn't easy enough. It was so bloody basic that i couldn't fix every mistake, or just move the order of pages. It didn't have enough gadgets to add to it that would facilitate what i wanted. In essence i quickly HATED Google Site's.

I then tried others. But there isnt many. I was trying to do this for free. I had no one else working with me.

My Internet connection also kept failing on me. I SHOULD have been studying. None of my friends were available or interested or as driven as i felt.

I gave up on it. I sighed and just stopped. I was getting no where. I was being Irrational as it was. But why did i spend so much time on something that only angered me so much. It just wasn't working for me. And i didn't even have a set plan. I just wanted to get it done. To test it. To let it grow once i had it created. But i think i was being an idiot.

Writing:

As i mentioned before i have a story i've been working on for a good while. I started it after a dream way back when i was studying for LAST years supplemental exams.

It evolved from there into 4 chapters over 9 months. I know what i want to do with the book.

I even have a plan for 5 books. Which i seem to have now lost.

I'd love to be writing it but parts of it were frustrating me. I was writing dialogue i didn't think made sense or was to shit compared to the rest. I twisted it to make it look like a lie but then it made less sense again.

I then used the yWriter software i found to start over. I inserted parts of the 1st chapter into it and started cutting it like made. The paragraphs were so patched up from multiple edits that they seemed so unfriendly and stuffed with pointlessness.

What has annoyed me so much about it is that i have created a MASSIVE universe and somehow i seem to sell it all to soon and i don't seem to let much story happen. Less is more, but only when describing everything else. The story needs a bit of a lift. And why exactly i chose an Omnipotent Narrator is beyond me.

It means i have to jump into every characters head each time they do something. No matter what's going on i have to explain every thing. I already over explained the universe. Why do i have to give so much to the characters as well.

Basically it's a mess at the moment. But i fear having to go into yWritter again and chop the hell out of it. It seems like so much work. I'd rather keep going. But even where i am in the 4th chapter is annoying me and making me avoid doing it.

Grrr. Just grr.

Another rather fleeting idea in my head is that of the eventual adventure i have planned with DS.

Years ago, hell back in 4th year we provisionally planned a road trip across the States.

Now back then the date for it was 2010 or so.

Realistically 2011.

But now i'm repeating and he has an idea of a 1 year masters.

So that realistically makes it 2012. Because no matter what my misgivings about any form of work i have to work as a nurse once i graduate, that is if there is any work.

After all you can't do such a momentous journey without funding. A LOT OF FUNDING.

We're talking probably in excess of 4 grand per person. Even to do it cheaply you would need safety resource's. You would also need a couple of hundred for a brief stint in Vegas, a must for any road trip.

Now the route has NEVER been fully set. After all there are so many way's to go.

I90 from Boston to Seattle has been ruled out. Mainly because after Chicago/Milwaukee, there's FUCK ALL.

So the main route is to skim the Mason Dixon line and to dip in and out of the south as you go.

Depending on funds either start in New York, Charlotte North Carolina or somewhere in Florida.

Memphis, New Orleans, Baton Rouge, Phoenix, Las Vegas, Sacramento, Los Angeles, Sand Diego and maybe a day trip south of the border....

All relative musts along the way. This is of course if you leave out New England. But how could you really. After all NEW YORK is NEW YORK. And New England is TINY in comparison to the rest of the country. I think it is emphasised on the map, even with a tighter population it is nowhere near as large as the mid-west or any of that vast expanse that took 100 years to map.

After all Who DOESNT want to "LICK THE LIBERTY BELL". Or see the world's largest Ball of Twine. There are a lot of Road movie things that you have to emulate when crossing such a iconic and well advertised continent.

We also would need a sound track. On top of funding any good road trip needs a sound track.

This could indeed take 3 years to decide...

Also i know people in several states.

After all I have Rose my old Internet Friend in North Carolina. I can't remember if she's in Raleigh or Charlotte but she's in one of it's cities. And there is Myrtle beach to check out there.

Then in Florida, Hope may be there at that time. So that's a detour that could be worth making in the future.

There's also several bands i might want to chase. At least 3 in North Carolina. 1 in Missouri. And maybe a few festival's or parts of the INFAMOUS warped tour along the way.

Then of course I-T bound to either be at College in Illinois or back home in Texas. Austin i think.

Damn it really is a big place. And frankly i doubt it would be easy. And we may end up having to take other people with us JUST to afford it. And to add to the adventure.

It has crossed my mind of writing a blog and documenting it. Either just through a blog, Twitter, and photographs. But video also crossed my mind.

It also crossed my mind to write a book about it. Or a screenplay. 2 idea's:

Book:

A book using all the documented part's and just writing about the journey and the tourist-y stuff and so on. Giving my opinion and so on.

Screenplay:

Writing a screenplay based on the road trip. But it being about friends driving with a mission of bringing a Screenplay to LA, the Long way. And documenting their journey as they go in blog form. And as things happen to them the Internet lends a hand and so on. Ye know that whole "one tweet can make a difference" myth... Corny, probably. Maybe scrap that bit.

But road movies are a genre unto themselves. And if you think about it clichéd. Why does it have to be America anyway?

Why not all of Ireland Circulated. E1, across to cork, up the N17 or whatever and then through the North and back down the E1. Or do the UK REALLY SLOWLY.

Or even cooler, Cork To MOSCOW! Pity about the bits after Poland...

Hey maybe i could start a career doing Road trips... or just leave it with the states...

Sometimes i hate my idea's. I have so many. I have at least 20 or 30 years worth of Work in my head based on story idea's alone. How exactly would i fit road trips into it all to? After all i can't even study for these exams and yet i dream about a tomorrow i can't even give myself...

How's this for an idea, Inter-railing 2010. Trans-America 2012. Cork to Moscow 2014?

It sucks being such a hypocrite.

Prospectus and musings; A website idea.

A few little musing's on my website idea.

Muse's:

I mentioned in a recent blog post that i have an idea for a blogging website.

Now nothing is concrete just a drive in my mind to get all my friends and people i read and other bloggers together to work together on a website to talk about their live's.

The main angle's i'm thinking of are either YOUTH in General, Irish youth or Young Irish people who write or have idea's.

The last one being the best. IE Entrepreneur's, Writers, Musician's, Artist's, Poet's, Aspiring Journalists, Training Profesional's and Opionionated people who want to be heard.

So far i've only recieved 3 email's in reply to it but i will pursue the matter further over the comming week's before i create a website and get it all going. I have to amas a team and so on. And then set it up so it's friendly for more to join and contribute.

1 of the email's was rather fruitful in that it was from an old classmate who know's a thing or two about business. The main jist of his reply was that there is great advertising oppurtunities to be had and so on. But it also got me on this current line of thought of YOUNG PEOPLE WITH IDEA'S.

A place for the "future leaders of industries" and so on to express their current views and live's and all that jazz. See how they plan to be what they want to be, how they view the world, what their live's are like, and if or how they come succesful or not.

It could also be a chance for these people to connect with each other via this website in a forum of exchange and debate.

OR in simple terms, a bohemian café on the internet for all the mover's and shakers, and thoughtful layabouts of the future.

A Name will also be needed.

Sugestions and other questions or queeries can be sent to:

Smiley.Socialdullard@gmail.com

A pipedream or a possible venture? Stay tuned.

A Handbook To Madness 2: A Manifesto

The last handbook to madness was one of the earliest posts. After a request from my then only reader, Kaffee, for an explanation of the Anonymity system i posted a guidebook of sorts to who's who in my little world. Well that was pointless considering so many more people are now on that list and complicated things have happened over time and so on.

This Handbook is different. This handbook, this great flight of fancy and imagination. Is a means to consolidate and update my blogging into one coherent and organized structure that will take care of all my random posting's. It is both a Manifesto for change and a guide to the contents of my blog in the past and what i intend to include in the future and possible events in the near by future too!

Table of Contents:

Super Title's and what they will each mean

Le Future: Things that could happen in the nearby future, and my intentions for my blog and life on certain paths...

SUPER TITLE'S And a new Method To My Madness:

SUPER TITTLE'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes this is what i will call Each section of my blog and how they will appear. Basically for each blog post i will fit what i am writing about into one of several SUPER TITLE'S and then rant about them within that heading with optional sub-title's. They will also, be distinguishable by being in bold or caps and separated. They will also now be the main and hopefully only thing included in my Label's. This will be to facilitate search's for other occurrence’s in each Super Title.

There are 19 SUPER TITLE'S that i feel will cover both wickets/all base's or whatever metaphor/simile i need.

It's Life Jim (but not as we know it):

(Diary entries of any or all content) Label's: Life, It's Life Jim, Diary.

This will most likely be the majority of my posts and will require sub-title's more than most. But hopefully with the Super Title system will be broken up more and will not be required as much as you may expect. My life, my thought's on my situations that don't fit super title's and so on.

High Society:

(The Society, debating, campus politics and friendship/kinship/brotherhood): Society, College, School.

This one's a no brainer really. It already exists as it is. But with my involvement not being what i want it to be due to my failure to vote for myself and the busy nature of next year but i will still include this part of my life and all the friendships and interesting stories gained from it.

Cinephillia:

(An old blog of mine now contained in this blog): Cinephillia.

As with the nature of the old blog this will be a look at my love of movies. Movie's i have recently seen, Whether in the Cinema, DVD, TV or Online. It will also cover any critique's i may have from time to time.

Music Or Misery

(Also an old blog now contained in this blog): Music

Music is a big part of my life. I listen to it all the time. I therefore think i have a certain taste and opinion related to what i like and why i think it's good. Of course that's just snobbery. I in my liberal mindset believe Music Criticism is impossibly wrong and heavily biased. But i'll happily critique what i know about and like. Basically I will talk about artist's i love and how or why i love them and the odd time put down others because i don't like them at all...

Abondonia:

(Older, new, and moded computer game's and why they are amazing): Abondonia.

Abondonware is the name given to software that no longer has a platform that can utilise it and or is out of date, hard to buy and rare. It is also a name given to older computer games. I play a lot of older computer games. They're just better. Also my pc isn't top range and i don't have the thumbs for Console's so PC games of yester-year are my go to joy. Open TTD and Civili(z)ation II being my main joys in the life of gaming. Plus other games that i have lying around and so on.

A nerdy gaming SUPER TITLE that you won't see to often, but it's a SUPER TITLE none-the-less.

Celebtastic:

(My view of the celeb world and current stories): Celebs, Celebtastic

I read several things around the web about celebrity and so on. It's called boredom, we all have it sometimes. So in an effort to remain relevant or to show i exist in the same plain of reality as the rest of us i will occasionally mention why Slut A is drunk and why Douche B is well a Douche. Stuff happens out there, we can't help but notice it and hey, i might as well mention it.

Newshound:

(News is happening 24/7, i will mention some...): Newshound, News, "insert popular news story or twitter trend name here".

As i said news happens 24/7. If something is happening in the world i will mention my thought on it, however opinionated or brief. I will endeavor to weigh in on what is happening and hope to inform as well as develop comment on it. It is after all a main facet of the blogosphere to comment on the world around us and the NEWS is how it is usually done for us by various media.

Lounge Athlete:

(my occasional interest in that alien world of Sport and physical activity): Sport, "insert sporting event here".

I am NOT a huge fan of sport. I don't follow any team in any sport. I do not follow any particular sport. But i do, like many follow big sporting events. The World Cup, The Olympics and Wimbledon. I never miss these things, they are my main and only sporting fix. If anything Wimbledon, being annual is my main area of sporting knowledge. And thus i will talk about Tennis with more fact's than i will any other sport.

Love, Actually:

(Love is the thing.) : Love, Love Life, "insert current fancy here"

Shocking as it may be but everyone has a love life. And even without a love life it is still called a love life despite lack there of. So in my quest for a partner in life and so on i will comment on it from time to time here. From fleeting fancies, to hopeful suitee’s, to anyone i may date or experience intimate moments with. This will be the Tunnel of Love and so on. It will mainly be full of whining and postulating, but if things look up here and there it could be all mushy and gooey and you'll hate me for including it.

Brick O' Brack:

(You can't have one without T'other): Misc, Brick O' Brack

Random thing's that fit no label, or fit more than one and hence for sake of ease will go under miscellaneous or Misc.

Video Kill's:

(Youtube and other viral flash boxes): Video Kill's, Youtube, "insert funny viral video trend here"

As is the nature of the web in this day and age there are these things called video's that play moving image's that entertain us. If one entertains me and i find it worthy of my blog i will added it to my blog and show it off to you.

This will break my blog though and cause it's feed to my facebook not to display the video or any words in the blog. Why this happens i do not know, but the same go's for photo's.

Web-Watch:

(It's Where it's @) Web-watch, web, interweb, "insert popular website here"

I am a prolific web user. I use it all the time. This SUPER TITLE will mention every part of my web use that i wish to share with you. From the blogosphere to Twitter Trends, to Web Browsers themselves, to New "IT" websites, To old one's, To place's where "it's" @.

Examblor:

(Academia, my college study life and so on): Examblor

As a nursing student, it's something i can't avoid. It's the monster in the room, exams, and so on. It is a big issue and so is my academic side as a whole. So i will cover it from time to time as it will have important factor's on many part's of my life.

Muse's:

(My story's, Lyric's and idea's, patent pending..): Muse's, Writing, Screenplay's, Lyrics, Poem's etc

I have what i would like to call an "active imagination". And with that i have many idea's and thought's which form many of my untapped "talents". I want to eventually write several books and create several tv show's or movies. I also from time to time write lyric's/poem's and i may share a few with you. I also have idea's from time to time and it would be nice to share some of them as well.

Q-Rated:

(Gadget's and how i love them): Q-Rated, Gadgets.

I am a man. Hence i use gadgets, it's a given. I have several Mp3 players of various make's and size, i have a webtastic INQ 1 mobile phone that i brag about a lot, i have a pile of broken disc men, a portable dvd player and i have 2 camera's. I love gadgets. If i could i would buy several kick ass mobile phone's, mp3/mp4 players just to test them or to have them. I would also love a laptop or notebook or pda, scratch that a touch screen blackberry/pda. Basically i would like many a thing i can't have. But it doesn't mean i can't educate myself about what kick ass gadget's and manly toy's are out there. So i will mention it all here, all very Q-Rated.

NB I would get a pink Nintendo DS/DS lite just to have a DS!!! No matter what condition or colour, if it works i'd have any gadget!!!!!!

Health & Illness:

(Health and healthy living and illness's and poor life behaviors): Health & Illness, Nursing, Health, Illness, H+I, "insert health scare/pandemic of the moment here"

As a Nursing Student, a human and citizen, a mental-illness groupie and a socialist, this is all very important to me. Health and it's opposite illness are very important thing's for society and humanity. So i will mention these things many a time in various forms and weigh in my thoughts, official and abstract... (sometimes sterilisation, genocide and quarantine seem too tempting to logical to ignore...)

Snap Happy:

(Camera's and photo's i've taken or love): Camera, Snap Happy

I'm no professional. I don't know or understand the "rule of thirds" but i do love photographs. I love them in all shape's and size's. From early lithographs’ and Auto-chrome's to my own snap happy way's within my "social life" and for recreational use. Camera's and their by-product's are an important part of life and with the disposable nature of digital they are even more common. Even my portable phone and telegram machine has a camera. So expect awe inspiring old timey photo's from by gone era's or interesting nugget's snapped by my hand.

On The Box:

(Television and it's shows): TV

I watch tv. We all Watch TV. It's just a case of what we like to watch. Well i will tell you what i watch, why i watch it, what i think is good and why it is so. So stay "tuned" and don't pick up the remote.

WARNING: Crime Drama, Medical Drama, Sci-fi and British Soaps/Drama and Comedy/sit-coms/Panel Shows feature heavily.

So that is the SUPER TITLE'S list. To recap the SUPER TITLE'S Are:

IT's Life Jim

High Society

Cinephillia

Music Or Misery

Abondonia

Celebtastic

Newshound

L0unge Athlete

Love, Actually

Brick o' Brack

Video's Kill

Web-Watch

Examblor

Muse's

Q-Rated

Health & Illness

Snap Happy

On The Box

This is all to facilitate easier search's and to also break up my blogs. I also hope that it will allow me to run trends of several smaller blogs throughout my posting. Thus separating each field of blogging under these SUPER TITLE'S and letting you all know what the hell i was on when i wrote each entry.

It's Life Jim:

The Future:

Well what's in store for the rest of the summer? Hmm well first we have to see the result's of Examblor and then study, work, and grovel accordingly. It's an extensive situation and i will discuss it under an Examblor post next week.

Other items of interest will be that DS is home. This Means cinema trips soon. So more Cinephillia is inevitable. But also his 21st is this summer. And there is a provisional plan for a trip to Amsterdam. So that could possibly happen. Provided Examblor result's are not to evil and snarling, festering and draining of my life-force.

A reading of the new Ross O'Carrol Kelly book, and inevitably a post in the style of that most popular dubliner.

It all hinge's on that Examblor post next week, so hush hush, stay tuned, Xo Xo and all that jazz.