Saturday, January 31, 2009

Je suis Vingt et une ans!

Bonjour y'all. I speak to you today from my computer, as usual. But with the unique position that i am now 18 years concious,  21 years alive and almost 21years and 9 months or so in existance give or take belief and legal definitions. On with the ranting you say, well here you go first a little tangent about language. Why i don't know but various vital verves and varying voices have left me a rant on my finger tips about english?

The Raping step father of language:

Parllay vooz fransays? No, if you're like me you probably don't, or at least not a lot. After all, it may be the language of love, yeah right, but it has 1/4 the words and is protentious. If anything the gutteral symplicity and wide-ranging buggery of the worlds language's that is english is far better to trip and curl off your tounge. A combination of everything europe and everything lower class. Promoted by shakespere and his ilk and transformed into the most influencual basterdisation of linguistics since the tower of babel. I for one prefare to be a pleb speaking this cocoction of words that is the english language. 3 million words or so and a flexability of meaning that has no contestants. We all can understand most of the english speakers out there, and we can thank its simplicity or lack there of for that. 

Wow... eh, who knew i could love the abusive father tounge so much...  but hey, what else am i going to do. I may not have a high IQ, or be well read, but i love our language. I love that i can say so much and say so little. I love that i can combine, mash, cram and misuse so many words in a sentence, that it sounds amazing, sounds insane or discriptive but actually says fuck all? And dont get me started on fuck and veriants there of. It is probably the best user friendly word there is. It can be tagged to anything and has an over-arching reach and grip on sexual conotations, like most of society. Ah falic feminist arguements, whats not to love, so wrong they're almost right. But yeah, i went there, bought the t-shirt, fuck is a great word, fuck knows why, but it just fucking is. Now of course, you can't use it all the time, and why should you, you have to restrain yourself. Fuck that you may say, but it's true. You can't ask god to cut you some fucking slack, can't ask a gaurd for some fucking directions and you certainly can't ask santa for a fucking lightsabre! But that would rule. I do recomend that fanboy film about real lightsabre's and how dangerous they would be, so the fanboys sabre duel with the toymakers to stop them, pure genious!

Rant part deux: Social Networking, is the Shit!

No seriously. Before Bebo, myspace, facebook, Netlog, Tagged, Wayn and Nimble and any ones im forgetting, what did people do online? I've been online since i was 15. Now of course there was adult material, and before its recent youtube-type existance it was a difficult thing to access or utilise. Same goes for social networking. There was back in the day the MSN chatboards. Wow, talk about a long time ago. They ruled. They educated me in the ways of web edicate. A/S/L, lol, BTW, Brb and so.... All important lesson's of Msn chat rooms and its private messaging and of course MSN Messenger/MSN Live Mesenger. Now once that was gone there was a void. I don't know what everyone else did but i used And remembering it it probably was not a good thing. Infact it was a disaster. I discovered Lore there. If i havent discribed her before i'll keep it brief. Nympho lolita a little lost, fucked me up, i was obbsessed for a few years, all's better she's a lesbian. But there was other occaisions and frankly chat rooms are a V. Bad thing. Then circa christmas 2005 i discovered bebo. And from there i never looked back.

Social networking pretty much took off around that time. And i used it to keep in touch with school chums and so on. But Myspace was to me superior even still. It alowed me to discover my own music and expand my taste and The Like. And for once that was a phrase. You see The Like, if you don't know them are a beutiful trio of girls that are very talented. And when i saw them in concert the beautiful lead singer Z Berg locked eyes with me and would stop staring, and i will never forget that moment, ah... But anyway myspace was great for me. A Day Away, Farewell and many others graced my ears thanks to that website. But as a means of web socialising it never caught my attention. Somerwhere, and i don't know where i joined Facebook. And i was initially hostile. It wasn't bebo, it sat unused for a long time. But over the past 6 months i have become hooked. All my Society friends are there, and my old school acuaintance's and i have to say i am happy about it. But lo and behold my bebo suffered. It has fellow nurse's and ex's and ex hopeful's but it doesnt have my friends per say. It's dying a death and i feel sad for it. Its superior. Better picture's, more profile emphasis, youtube capability and a few other good points. But Facebook's Twitter like updates are better. Now bebo had them, and i used them a lot before facebook, but no one replied or listened. With Facebook they do, and its fun, its witty and its darn right better.

What i achieved there i don't know, but i said it.

Part Trois: What ever doesn't kill you, only makes you stranger.

No Grey it does. (insert seriously as neccissary) I feel/think/believe that each moment however wrong or right shapes who we are and we are better for it. Strange as we may become it's a philopsophical arguement that can not be overlooked or well thought out for that matter. 

I've had a lot's of ups and downs, more down's due to the down's causing self pitty and whining but there's ups, i think. But they're all there for some reason. Whether a natual social construct of living or a predestined design they all help make us US. Several moments are on the horizon and i hope that other than typing here i make the right choice's and battle on. I may not know what they are but whatever i end up being that will be me. 

Right, translation; I'm worried about my future, exams, life, carreer choices and so on. I know for definate that i'd prefare to be a writter and am now kicking myself for not discovering this sooner. I have 2 1/2 more years of college, or 1/2 a year left to go before i can even touch apon this fully and i plan to try my best to make it happen. I dont want to be a nurse, but its a means to an end that at the moment i cant stand be cause the course is difficult. The Study and lack of, Scares me. It isnt difficult, if i knuckled down i could easily do it. But instead i run to comfort zones, self pitty and words. And the words are the only one's i can still use when this is all over. 
And i will use them as much as i can. 

I'm currently writting a sci-fi novel that attempts to be different, but by doing so is the same. Sort of a satire but really just another way of saying the same old story again and again. Hero with special circumstance's seeks an ultimate goal. But in getting there i intened to distract from the hero with good back up charecters and slightly odd themes. For one i intened to use a non-camp homsexual relationship in the story, which sounds like a chalange but it's going to strengthen part of it. It's basically mentally lost pirate's in a distopian future with no hope left. They have a dream but it's hard to reach. New people show up and things happen and as it progress's through several stories they rekindle their hope and eventually find their dream. Only for that dream to be absoloutly bullshit but they ignore it and bring their hope to others. At least a trilogy of novels, or a whole series. I may have given away the ending, but it's the journey not the end that is the real story i want to write. And i have a lot more stories to write, hell nearly 15 ideas some of which are whole saga's of stories. All Down the line, all in the future, and hopefully i get to write them

Objective observations, of which i have many ie none; Part Quatre:

Hmm what else. I went pretty grim there. And insane before hand. What's left to say. Oh yeah... society wise we've decided to motion for the freshers debate thats cool. Eh.. im 21, there's an occasion. I plan to do a few things after exams, go to someone else's party, see a few friends, and maybe the week after hold a dvd night with my own friends. Im Thinking a Frasier Marathon/Movie marathon/Family guy/Wii-Fest(if i had a wii)/West Wing-a-thon(if i can buy the box set cheap enough/Hamish Macbeth-a-thon(because it rule's even if people don't know it)/Heroes season 1-a-thon(because its the best part of the show.). Yeah a lot of thoughts on that, but thats what i have. I've also been left with the odd position of having to decide what presents i want, but the catch is they have to be keep-sakes. It's impossible to choose because my own dislike of jewlery on myself has led to this odd position. I perfectly accept my gift and i'm not upset with it, but because im not goint to use it in my current state of opinion i have to choose 2 gifts without a clue what to choose. I can't be selfish or brat like and choose crazy cool gadget that i have a nack for breaking. And i can't choose something as insensative as a normal gift. How the hell do you choose a meaningful gift for yourself when you dont wear jewlery?

Slán go maight.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Obama's first week my last week of lectures for 8 weeks.

Ah here we are again. More blogage. Now i have been slightly reluctant to post and that has been for several reasons. One being that i have been slightly over opinionated, i contemplated a bitchy gloves off post, i thought of a depressed rant where i compared myself to the credit crunch i even thought about THIS post. "THIS" post being a normal post, my unstructured rantings under short snappy captions with analysis and dialogue on my moment to moment week and any other observations and reservations i may have had over the preceeding days. These can be few and far between or overloaded, hard to pinpoint and down right scary at times. I'm never really sure where i may take this post, i'm not even sure if it will be the "THIS" post, but a post none-the-less.


Frankly what are we all on about? Its a historic moment. Big whoop. This isnt D.C, this is Ireland. We're up that body of water made of excriment without a means of propulsion, to steal a line from the big bang theory. Ever since i got home from an extended and enjoyable stint down under i have realised how pessimistic and self-afacing the british isle are! Where the hell is the Optimism? Where the hell is the future outlook? Are the culture's of these dozens of islands and 2 and a bit nations really so dark that we think The Dark Knight really is more important than Mamma Mia? I thank hollywood for that optomistic little pot of gayness. The dark knight may have asked good questions and given stellar performance's but in times of hardship can we really aford to embelish such dark drama? Same goes for Battlestar Galactica, it may be the best thing on tv for decades but we all know there wont be a happy ending.

Wow, how slighltly hypocriticical and Hyper Critic of me. But am i wrong? I myself am having a shit time in this day and age like society as a whole. But i long for the optomistic boost that Washington D.C has recieved. All we have is the King of Burgers giving us a Recession buster meal to slag off a non-elected interim official. Both countries of the British Isles have second string leaders filling the space of more historically important figures who reigned over us unquestioned for excess of a decade in at least one case. Brown and Cowen the rhyming duo of ballsless politics have done fuck all for 80 million people over the past 2 years as the world has gone to shit. Where is the oposition? Where is Our Obama? Why do i fear that i know Cameron wont do any good and fear even more that i dont even know the name of anyone who can fill the space of an oposition side here in the Rip off Republic?

I have more faith in the people i know around me being the future of this country when i become a washed up bum, a successful accomplished version of my dreams, or a status quo public service health provider stuggling to rear a family in this dreay little wet island. I see A LOT of potential in the people of The society. These people could be the leaders of tomorrow. It is after all that Enclave of thinking in the centre of our unique and increasingly bleak Capitol city.  I wont name nicknames but i do see that even if i cant agree with them all these people really are our future. I dont know where i can place in that future, a Cynic Nurse stuck here or emigratted to down under or a Local voice or far away visionary. The future is all ahead of us here in ireland and yet there is no clear vision or an optimistic view. Its a Recession. A word coined by a great man with a disability facing the hardest times of a far away pre-superpower. Here in ireland we sat in 2nd world status and grew slowly untill post yuppie-greed of the 90's led to the amazing youth we all had in our boom years. Now on the cusp of adulthood we have the worst time's to fear and no clear image of what we should do. The yummydrummies and roysh ya boys have no clear advice of what the fock we do next!

My slice of the preverbial pie:

So where was i. Wow, i didnt even know i had that rant in me, i didnt plan that one, I have to say bulla bus to moi. But onward ho! Where else was my train of thought, oh yes social life and study. Ah that ever encrouching worrying moment where i have to step up to the Wicket and work hard to pass a course i resent and face the fact i will owe my parents 8 grand at the end of this dark corridor of depression and indicision that is my college years. Now with windows of optimism like the society along the way and a few mailboxs on the locked doors, that indicate my true dreams and aspirations in unrelated fields of study and talent i forge on.  After this rant my often flailing good intentions intened to study during my study week. Go figure, like that will work. The thing is, it has to! And who am i to argue with anything decided against my lack of clear judgement. A degree is good for me, even if i dont want to keep it active.

So monday, not so manic monday. 2 tutorials, random psychology project group. And then newspapers in society. For several days ago i cant remember much else, Martin Luther King day, day before Obama, here in Ireland it wasnt much of anything, how predictable.

Obama-uesday, a day that will live without a punchy line or much importance other than a cock-up, loads of witnesses and the good bye of to a chimpanzee or president with ID, i can never remember wich. I watched it in the Society. The wonder of the modern world. Upper-Middle class scholars with personal portable computers conected to magical internet connections in the air and shared to a room of assorted erasmus students and hopefull southsiders and smart people the future of a nation we have a close connection and former resentment for. Most of us still rememeber how it all started weeks ago watching the uncontested victory. Then the select few who had Orange champaign in a roof garden. Obama has defined this year a lot. But what has he done for europe yet? All ive seen is him bringing the society together and creating a legenedary story of a caravan on a roof. 

Following what i have to say was a good non-gimicary speech i stood around with a few quips, comments and gripes and then did something random. I followed others to a reading in a Prod church in aid of all that trouble back in the hollyland. I have to say it was a moving thing and it was nice to see people come together for it. But in essance all we did was be moved by words and song and sign potitions. Where was politcal activism where was whole-hearted condemnation. I increasingly see Isreal as a zionest bully of a behemoth backed up by the american gun industry and resentful jews of power. Or at least a slightly moderate opinion just shy of that. They are a colaboration of people in a contested state forcing their opinions on the locales and victimising them by forcing their hand. I may not be a republican, but i can sympathise more with Hamas and their followers more than i can for the so called oppressed of Irelands past. The IRA are sick people, Hamas are living in hell. Neither groups tactics are forgivable but at least Hamas are easier to understand. Cut off from the world, surrounded by starvation, lack of a voice and neglected by a foreign invader and their own elected locals these people are just trying to survive. Imagine if Sinn Fein came to power and then went nutzo and fucked everyone over. Yep thats gaza for you. Fight to live, smuggle to eat, die to get the fuck out of it all. I really feel for those people but smugg in my depressed well of life on a rainy island i cant do sweet feck all for them but muse and bitch.

Again way off track and over opinionated. But further aplause and back slapping and hopefully no other slapping for sake of pg-13 ratings i continue onward. Although i think i have to many fuck's, feck's, fock's and fracks to warrent such a low rating. Right bring  out the tits. Oh wait thats me. Yeah following the reading i missed a train and hung around talking to an american and Hope who you can basically say is an Atlantean as she's not really irish anymore but not fully yankidoodle-afied.  Eventually got late train home and that was that.

Wednesday. Less eventful, infact i cant remeber much of anything. I intended to do some study or writing but i retreated to my comfert zone of internet roaming and bemoaning of myself by doing sweet frack all. 

Thursday. Ah thursday i dont remember it like it was yesterday, thats because it was the day before.. Oh yeah, still sick, oh did i not mention im sick of my own volition, stupid microbes. Who knew detol kills 99.99999% germs dead and i didnt remember that. But any way i was feverish and sick and had to sit through a Anaemia tutorial i remembered all too well from the previous year. Hell i even got the same question and the teacher said the same line at the end. Dejá Vú in its only real capacity to say the least. Couldnt go to the "invitational" so missed out on more society stuff again. Didnt fullfill any study plans though, who am i kidding its me!

Ah and then Friday. No crunchie slogan though. Last day of lectures. Ah... How much i really dont know my year. A huge crowd and i only know a select few. Rejection from Daisy pretty much hurt and i havent talked to her since. Barely clapped eyes on her either but i know she's still around and oblivious to what i thought could have been. But instead of Fuck Her or any such vernacular of normal male bitterness i though instead "forget her" there littlerally is other Piscein out there. Like Jade the muccker i mentioned, and no not bogger, a poor way of describing that green girls school not far from my old secondary school. Its almost an unwritten Write that i have to have had even a date or a connection with at least one of those girls, i would just be like one of the gay figure heads of my schools reputation if i didnt. But even though she's basically a yummy-drummy with a brain and a juicy body i wouldnt know where to begin. So i doubt thats the first fish in the see ill try and catch although i wouldnt put it past stereotypes that i couldnt catch something off her aswell, i know ew wrong, lioke so insulting but its possible. Hell i could have something and not know, although with only 1 former partner in every capacity its very unlikely.

Onto the TIV. Ah the TIV. So i did a little judging. 2 rounds to be exact. It was fun. Judged a guy who judged me in the Republic IV months ago so that was cool. Or was he a compeditor, either way i remembered his face. And his team were in both rounds and pretty good, ones to watch i think.  But i had to go home. I had little choice. No where to crash although i did look into that at the last minute and i thank everyone for any effor they may have put in but ultimately i did have to go home. 

Wow, opinion and genious and down right rudeness aside i just made a new post. Wow go me. Some of it i dont know where it came from but its better than depressed whines or Clueless-esque gossip. No i think i did completly fine in my own little fracked up view and i bid y'all adue for now.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Rag tag return home.

So im back from ze land of oz. And no they are not all prisoners, but any other stereotypes may not be as questionable. There certainly was a high abundance of skantly clad attractive types in the baking sun. Especially in Sydney, pitty its a slightly more boring city. MONORAIL, MONORAIL! "I hear those things are awfully loud, It rides as softly as a cloud", and all that jazz. No seriously, for a city with double decker trains how the frack did they build a wastful pile of shite like that monorail? There must be a suburb of north haverbrook or something!

But all seriousness, im a self reflective blogger who talks no sense, not a travel journalist. So onto the life less beutiful. Apon return i was pretty zonked, as would you be following over a day on planes, And a 3 hours stop in a packed arab airport at midnight their time. But all was good, holiday went without a hitch. Sure i said less than 1,000 words a day and was board or lonely at times, but i enjoyed it, and it was certainly NOT my place to complain, if i could even think of any, which i cant! Come on, it may not have truely been christmas down there but it was sunny and hot people galore, or "insert bond girl name here".

The Fresh meat Masters:
So when i returned i popped back into the society as soon as i could, and i wasnt disapointed. I gave a bottle of cheap Tawney port to Lenn and dummied on my own for the debating competition hosted by the Joker.(A nickname that has come full circle, but ill explain later) Now the first motion was about fat kids being taken to camps, so obviously i objected they'd get fatter and teach eachother how to add custard to every meal. Second motion was more up my alley, Manned mission to mars. I basically verbattum listed how Nasa plans to get there and sproated shite about publicitiy stunt and for the good of science. Now i was shot down by I-T about Helium-3 on the moon for "cold fusion", but i looked it up, it can be ued for a certain type of fusion, just not that energy efficient. Apparently Deuterium-titrium reactors are the best bet at the moment, expected by 2050. Like i know what that means... This was a good debate despite some people being a bit more clueless. Then came the 3rd one, That this house would Colonise failed states. Oi VEH! 1st proposition went "super-conservative", "crossed the line". Well, in truth, they said they would but in truth sprouted shite about it for 2 speechs and gave no plan. Same for op really, just shoot down the tripe that preceeded them. With fuck all to say thanks to 1st props insane angle i decided to go moderate, and give a soloution to the problem that was on the props side. I decided to put in UN led olagarchy's to run the basic services of these failed states for the people. No imperialist overlord notions. My tag for it was "By our people, for Thier people". Which i was proud of. But in general i was ignored. With fuck all else to say i didnt give a second speech. I was filler anyway, i wasnt even in the debate, but i felt gutted at that. A good soloution that was uncontested, unargued and left without any clarification or debate.

Then the finale. The big Finale. Why so serious you ask? Well thats exactly why! The Joker, Quoted the Joker and gave us all the best motion ever. That this house would Arrest BATMAN!
It was by far the most hillarious and entertaining motion i had ever seen and it was carried extreemly well by all concerned. I-T and Nordie2 being the stars, with a team whose nicknames i have yet to choose shown just aswell with their amazing Proposal's as to why we should arrest the batman. Op did well, but in the face of it all they couldnt contend with the 2nd op being the weakest at the table when faced with the knoledge of the other teams, and the tour de forcer of Nordie2 concluding speech which wipped the floor with the op. He even won sparkly wierdly flavoured Champaign, not just any sparkly wierdly flavoured champaign, pink bottled, victory smelling, sparkly weirdly flavoured M&S Champaign.

Back to school:
Oh how i loath study. No really, im not looking forward to learning Oncology and Heamatology again, aswell as Nature Vs Nurture and Social theories on profesionalism and so on and so forth. But i have to. And ill ignore my complaints and move on to love life... or seeming lack there of. I saw Daisy about a few times and something about her Eyes made me run a mile. Didnt even say a word to her. On the way back onto campus on wednesday i walked ahead of her and she seem'd to be going my way so i stopped and pretended to wait for someone at front arch. She passed and gave me a small wave and i felt like a girl in a romance novel, almost swooning! Cue yesterday and over much debate with myself and persuasion to buck up and just ask from PG i attempted to ask Daisy out. No cigar. She told me she was busy and needed to study and so on. I was pretty upset, pissed, confused, angry; basically i couldnt pin one reaction from one second to the next. Sat on my own in lectures today feeling rather insane over a lot of things and didnt even notice her anywhere in the crowd, and didnt really want to. With retrospect while preforming a study related task in IS services i re-read her text and realised it may not have been as harsh as i first thought but it was still being turned down, not exactly rejection.

In other news. Eh, if you could call it that. Ive had several great ideas floating around my head the past few days. I possible way of taking nursing along with me to my tv/movie/novel dreams, and a few more ideas for several of my stories and inventing a website in my head. The way of taking nursing occured to me while still in Oz, why not do plastics or burns in california, they must be pretty good and i do like those fields? Ideas for stories came in the form of trying to Resurect my sexy vampire idea(pardon the pun), restructuring the heroes in my heroes story and general plot developments down the line for my Dolmus story. Now of course my vampire and superheroe ideas were re-ignited by seeing twilight and reading watchmen, but my vampire story is from 4th year and my heroes thing is from last summer when i used my mental illness as inspiration for a story where the main hero is stuck in an alternate reality and is suffering from mental illness and thinks he must change things back to normal in order to get home. But is he really from a place where things are better off or actually mentally ill? I love it and finally ive been able to gather some more clarification of what to do with it in my head. And as for the website idea, i think ill keep it sthump, but i think its genious!

Eh. I dont know what framework i was going for with this blog. None i think. I cant think of what else to say. I could talk about love life more, little tid bits like what happened between my craziness and Cleo, or other potential now that Daisy has turned me down. But for now i'll leave my musings and moanings at this.

Good Day Y'all.