Saturday, March 28, 2009

Social Gadgetry, Oraganise, Blog more often and be more blog-like.

Yes i said it, my blog need's to be more blog like. Not because it's a diarry, no but because i can actually say stuff with a framework if i blog like a blogger. I also get more reader's of my day to day complaints and moanings if i pop in some observation's of the universe. And why not, i am a constant user of the internets. I witness many a trend on facebook, twitter and in the celeb world's of Perez and ew and elsewhere. So why not talk about them on top of my discription of my nicknamed friends and the "society" and my love life and lacking there of.

INQ Social Networking Phone:
I LOVE MY NEW PHONE!!! I have lusted or cuveted, which ever word is more gramitcally correct, after this phone for a few months now. Now what doesnt it do.... Well first it has facebook, skype and 3G features, MSN messenger, you have to pay for internet use and ebay and bebo, it has a nice 3.2 megapixel camera but NO light or flash or internal videophone.  It also has a an amazing contact sorting ability to "merge" your facebook, skype, mobile, msn, homephone and email contacts together, it also puts facebook display pics on your contact's when they call you. I basically love it. And depending on where i am in the house i usually have normal phone signal that's perfect, but in some "sweet" spots i can fully avail of the 3G options like Facebook, skype, yahoo weather, and one "sweet" spot is Right here at my desk! It's so great to have a gadget that can help organise my social life, social networking and life in general all in the same machine. Now of course it means i need 3 gadgets for life. My iPod Nano 8gb, Kodak camera(with a supply of ALKALINE batteries, my first mistake) and my INQ1. Sure INQ 2 will have twitter, but i dont care, my facebook is grand and it updates on bebo anyway making the bebo app useless thanks to Bebo's brilliant Ch-ch-changes/life feed header page.

Google Whore:

Yes i think i am becoming one. Now of course, i'm a good little consumer, i use Windows XP. Okay its a copy, and it's out of date and some genuine thing keeps pissing me off. But i'm a good little PC user, Macs are alien to me. 1 button, madness! No i will take my 3 buttons and mouse wheel anyday. But i hate IE, it crashes all the time. I also don't like WMP, i'm a winamp/iTune's Person with RealPlayer to steal stuff of the interwebs. But lately i've been adding the wonder's of google's service's to my computer use. I use Gmail for College, as they set that up and it's a good enough system, still a Hotmail Whore though, been that way since i was 14. Years ago i loved what Google Earth does, and it's still impressive, albeit out of date for place's that have evolved, ie Dublin Docklands and Dubai, and New Oreleans.... I have also Migrated to using Google Chrome. I used to be IE all the time, Windows users have no choices. I remember Netscape when i first heard of the internet in 1995, but Windows raped that mo fo or something similar. Now i used firefox to watch pirate shows online, and that worked for a while. But on my slightly barmy machine even Firefox started to crash the same as IE. This pissed me off. So i gave Chrome a go, and i haven't looked back. I also recently took up using Picasa3. It's brilliant. Feck Irfanview, that didn't have editing or google connectivity. Picasa 3 on the other hand is so google whore friendly that i just have to use it, it's so purty and easy. I like it loads, it's a pitty the webhoasting is still weak, Photobucket is where i go instead. And of course there's Blogger. The blogging service i use to rant and rave on life etc, it's a google property. It's far from perfect, i could make one or two sugestions, but i have it "feeding" to my Facebook and to a blogsphere database called "Technorati" or something similar. Got to get my words out there and so on.

Now if only google came up with a media player that connect's to iPods i would be sorted!

Organisation, trying baby steps and inevitable flayling steps:

Go me i started to organise my notebooks and notes for college. That's kind of all i did. I then intended to work on Psychology and my essay on Heartfailure/cardiac rehab. Not really no. 3 day's off a week and 2 day's of lectures, it's amazing how little i got done. My timetable isn't very full, brief general points that i seemed to ignore. But i hope to get around to doing things. I have to after all. I have to get my psychology stuff done for the rest of my group for next Tuesday, it's all due the following monday. The essay is due Monday the 6th aswell. I eh, don't have the question.... Yes i know awful organisation. But basically i need to work my ass off once psychology is done and widle that heart stuff down to the Nursing perspectave and a word count and NOT the bigger picture of health promotion and how in an ideal world Sick people wouldnt be sick and we wouldnt need a health service... My mind goes there sometimes, i can't help it. But i will have to soldier on and get that work done. I have 10 1/2 days to do it. 2 and 1/2 day's left on psychology, and just less than 2 months till exams.

Oh exams. Eh, i finally got my result from my febuary exams. I did well in biology, 75%, Shared nursing (spirtuality and Law) i got about 53% or something and i Failed NuG02 which was Oncology and Heamatology, 40%. This means for the remaning general nursing subjects, including the essay i have to score close to 60% or hight on all the answers in order to drag up my failure to pass the year. Maybe not 60% but i have to do better than just pass. Wonderful, i really actually have to work. It easily within my grasp, but i'm terrible at self motivation. I fear the study monster. I retreat to computers. But it must be done, it's a mean's to an end. It must be done!

Oral Fixation and Cola's:

Now i have a new favourite drink. And it is, drum roll please.....

Tango Cherry. It's gorgeous. And currently it's 2 for 1 Euro in the Spar near Tara Street Dart Station. Which is a great deal. Possibly the 2nd cheapest liquid you can pay for within the city. The cheapest being 49cent for a can of Reb Bull cola in the Londis at the Rialto Gate of St James's Hospital. Which is just a brilliant deal. Oh i just gave away what "the workhouse" is, oh well it was a pointless nickname anyway....

The 2 amazing cola's that i just can't decide between: 

The satisfying Jolt cola:
From Blogging

And the Natural greatness of Red Bull Cola: 
From Blogging

I can't pick between them, they're just both brilliant, i'd rellying on Red Bull more for it's cheapness,
but jolt is just so good when you want a caffine kick.

Now on with the show....

Star Trek; The Future Begin's:

I am really looking forward to this movie. Star Trek is one of my biggest love's, it's a great thing.
Now it went down hill with Voyager and Enterprise but it is still a brilliant franchise. It hasn't shot itself in
the foot yet like a certain other Star based series....

Now Trekkies are a scary bunch. Especially the so called "loyalists" the kind of people that still bitch about
TNG, DS9, Voy and the canon failure's of Ent. But i am not a "loyalist's" i'm not the kind of fan that would
have screamed when they announced TNG, or that DS9 was a spacestation, or that Ent was a prequel.

No i'm looking forward to this movie. And my only missgiving is that i won't be at the premiere in the
Sydney Opera House! Lucky Aussie's!

Society and Love life:

Eh what to say. I said a lot earlier in the week about nurse's i have my eye on. And that little cutey i
have yet to name. Well something similar to that little cutey appeared in my dreams. And It was rather
influencial, on several levels. For one it estabilished an animal attraction to the idea of this person. It
also sugested that the relationship would be anything but easy as we were kept apart by varrying plot
points and dream-type tangent's that were really annoying as all i wanted to do was be with the dreamlike
amalgum of this person and other people in my life. Curse you subconcious for being so complicated.

Society wise i have to keep a certain secret for the moment but am liasing with the Younglings and the Harem
in order to finish that project. Cuba debate april 1st, should be fun, we have a certain Radio star and the
cuban abasador, it should be great.

Youtube video of the day i'd like to share: Holiday Parade: Slam Crunk:

A rather impressive and catchy mash-up of well known rap tune's done by a pop punk band. It is just brilliant.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Procrastination, chance encounters and 90's trance.

Oh me oh "mi", it has been a good few day's since my last post. I actually hesitated, i actually had things to say and didn't say them, why? Well censorship for one, clarity another, and of course LESS NEGATIVE THOUGHTS. No those red flag's of annoyingness have been confind to my fiction of sorts. Yes i plan to channel my dark passenger into the prose of a slightly odd charecter and try one step at a time to take charge of my real life with as few negative thoughts as possible.

Easier said then done. Admitting it is the first step. Ha, admitting. I know that mainly covers obsessions and addictions but in some aspects in can cover mental illness. But in my case ive known full well im a few bee's short of a bonnett, or insert other phrase here. Basically i'm trying with a more concious effort at the moment to get on the correct path, whateve that be. Mainly a metaphorical thing to do with good positive decisions and a load of whoha that i don't really want to over analyse because I THINK TOO MUCH. No i really do. I may not be a big academic type, sure im slightly on the posh opinionated long winded side, but im not THAT proficiant at it. No i'll return to this later. My rambling and negativity is slightly more grounded than some deep analylitical bs. Or at least it's so cocky and well established that i at least don't think it is... Who knows, my fingers have run away from my intentions, onward to the gossip.

Now i am no Carrie Bradshaw, No gossip girl, No Hunter S Thompson and certainly no... Okay i ran out of people, but you get the jist.

Ah placement, it be over. Fuckadoodledoo. How wonderous not to have to wake at 5am to work a 35 hour week for free for the sake of learning. By the end of all this ill have been in semi-slavery for 4 years of no pay and 1 of midocre pay. I pitty the REAL nursing students. The girls insane enough to work as carers and agency nurse's in their spare time. I'd die on the inside if i had to do all that. I prefare to be the automiton nurse following orders but with a playful smile as i finish my tasks. I don't get to close to patients but i still feel for them on some levels. For me their more minor friends you'd like to see leave. Not in a harsh way, but you'd rather they weren't there. You'd prefare it that none of them were there. It would be great if the hospital's were all empty and you could meet these people under normal circumstance's and actually know them. Instead of poping in to them several times a day and asking to squeeze their arm, shove a probe in thier mouth and interigate them about thier diet, fluid intake and bowel motions and if their in pain. It's just not right. You can't really be friends with someone you have to care for that closely. So i get on with it. After all, im going to finish this crapolloa as i know of nothing else to do in the mean time. Get the fall back job then follow dream's of writting and so on.

Social life's and further sorties via soiree's:

Ah last week was pretty good social wise. Ok sure i didn't go out on paddy's day. That was an failure to plan anything bust. Who knew asking your friends to be your friends could be so difficult, or to get people doing nothing to do something, or to even expect a reply. Ok so i didnt push home an agenda, i didnt have a set plan. I was only finding out stuff, but it still sucked to get nothing. But tis the past now. As even better there was a Soiree at Dona's. Twas all in good fun, if not an odd collection of gammaman's bizzare intelectual harem. No seriously, if i got anything from that night it was that Gammaman appeared to be a free agent or at least slightly desturbing in the company of so many smart younger female's. Now of course i didnt have much to say as is me anyway, and didnt want to contest a essance destroying arguement about Annie Hall, ill return to that. But if anything the person i should suposidly know the most surprised me. I've known him 9 years, and it felt as if i barely knew him. Suspicions and questions rolled around my head and i didn't know what i was thinking, but something was up. Then an odd dream where he was "involved" with yet another Harem member who wasn't there was rather unsettling a dream to have, where's my totty, stupid subconcious!

Now that movie arguement, and my movie arguement. I really dislike The Departed. Mainly because Infernal Affair's is better and somehow more believable. The Departed may be gritty, well acted and full of fowl language but it's OTT, it pushes it too far and somehow feel's longer and make's you care less. And if you've seen the other you know the twist's anyway even if they're different movies, which they're not. It's just a Hollywood rehash that i just can't believe in. It's not the masterpiece people claim. It goes to far to try and be different and become's laughable and annoying compared to the origional movie that you can't get over if you see it first. Now i couldn't articulate my hatred of The Departed the way i wanted. I mostlikely seemed stuburn and missinformed or argumentative, and i suppose i was and am. But it's just to much, Nicholson especialliy is taking the piss, the violence is hyper-violent and less believable. It's more about this dark alien world than the intrigue and tension of the origional. It pushes it and doesnt work the same way.

No i was stuburn about my view of movies again. I slightly more opinionated and seemingly well educated, possibly english student friend of donna's really got my critic juice's flowing and then running in full retreat with my metaphorical tail between my legs, or my falice, which-ever you want to pick on and evicerate. Basically she started Lauding Vickie Christina Barcelona. I had to step in with my poorly constructed "it's shit" argument. Basically i found it boring, un-interesting and in now way good. She instead found some deeper insane non-film viewers analysis of it that was just disturbing. "It's about how american's view barcelona...." and all this insane Arts'y over thinking that NO FAN OF FILM WOULD USE. I then said even worse defended Annie Hall say that it did have a plot. Even worse she went into overdrive about how i didnt and was about a relationship doomed to failure and all this stuff. And i just sat gawping at her. The ball's, the arogance, the over-educated misinformed buzz kill. It's an oscar award winning Rom-com. It may not have a conventional structure but tearing such a masterpiece down with the pointless long words of an art-critic was beneath the brilliance of Annie Hall. You don't get Annie Hall, you don't understand it, You simply WATCH AND LOVE IT. You laugh, you enjoy the charecters. You see the jokes as what they are, you see the characters as they play out. You don't watch LOTR and think it's about the a-bomb! You don't watch Annie Hall and think it's something more than an amazing combination of wit, cinematography and writting.

Yeah, non of that was worth saying. I sat back and just accepted defeat at was a far more opinionated and self-assured arguement. And i call myself a debator. That however was a debate it was education ruining pop culture. I know i like pop culture, id study it if i could but that was just too much. To see something so beloved ripped down in the middle of a friendly gaggle of younger female's and 2 inept former schoolmates. I actually don't know what i intended to say about it all, just to say it. It was a great enjoyable evening, but i couldnt help but feel a little out of place. On the other had i renewed my interest in one of the Harem members who i had noticed first when i returned from Oz. And more and more so id be interested in seeing where that could go, just not sure how to approach it just yet.

Oh, wow, that was a lot on movies.... Collage, i mean College with an accent of course...:

Ah back to lecturne's, i mean lectures. Ah all a bit of the same i guess. Pharmacokenetics, GIT and oh wait that was it. 4 Lectures, somehow very tirering sitting in the same place. Nice to reconnect with Chatterbox, possibly more so than ever but then again we're all each other has in lectures. Noticed the other interests and charecters about the place, most of them infact. Glimpse of mini-j in the distance, side views and the odd spotting of Mystique and i sat infront of Daisy for the last 2 lectures. Basically ignored her, and didn't care to much, the odd fleeting thought. She was playfully friendly with her friends but i didnt pay much attention to it. Noticed as i was leaving what she was wearing, oh tights, to have a gf who wear's tights. Brief glimpse of Jade to. She had been on the luas one of the nights the previous week. Never got talking to her but she said goodbye, possibly aware that i shared a few glance's in her direction. I don't even know why i mention them. All meaningless really. Different stance with Chatterbox but i don't plan on going anywhere there, for one i don't think i'd be interested anyway, or if my aural translation matrix's could keep up.

Oh yeah, last point. 90's trance:

Y'all know that song that's all about "bring me down", i can't place the lyrics. I think it's by ace of base or something. And of course my genre naming is probably off, but that's a song that i'm think is my motto for the moment.

Oh and chance encounters, damn i really have rambled today. Well today in my wonderous procrastination and so on, i ran into Hope briefly. Probably a bad impression if not odd. I rambled and took apart something that was only a off the hand remark, and frankly i don't know why but it was stupid and inane but then again it was what we were talking about and i took it and ran with it. Nice to close on a goodbye joke, but unfortunatly i lost the rubber from my earphone and had to pop back to see if it was still beside her. Then i did a little walkabout and wondering. And one point seeing Cailin with someone i didnt recognise. And taking into account my thoughts about Gammaman i put two and two together and figured things must have been over there for a couple of weeks or more. Or ive blown somekind of trumpet like whistle with a can and some worms in it. But i doubt that. I think i just didnt need to know and i figured all that out on my own seperatly because it wasn't much of a big deal.

Eh, i ran out of things to say i guess. I over did it. And in essance this post IS procrastination, or mind dumping. But it's a large waste of time, thats for sure. Untill next time check out my Dark passenger dumping ground in the form of a sci-fi blog-fic about a reporter obbsessed with vampire's:

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Tridecaphobic paddy's day week.

Hmm what did i actually do this week? I seemed to spend most of it in placement so truthfully i feel i did fuck all at all really.

It wasn't till the latter half of the week that i actually got to do things. I could bitch and moan about hospital stuff, like understaffed nature and all that hooha but why should i? It's boring it's not a story and frankly i don't want to rant about it because it's pointless.

No it's the stuff even less pointless than the state of health care for cancer patients that i would like to talk about. That is of course, Love life vs lack there of, strained supposed friendships, study, watchmen and my inaction.

Love life, or my sevre lack there of:

Of course this all stem's from a multitude of reason's. Lack of self confidence, depression, self loathing, shyness, poor social life, anti-social behavoir, rejection and of course the opposite sex being bitches sometimes. In all seriousness i can see most of my problems, but being aware of them doesn't mean you change. No have all of them mean's you pay attention to the negative's and not the plus's and each time you fail you believe you will fail again. And boy is hard to try and succeed at the whole love life thing. With so much rejection and failure and embarrissing obsession and mistake's since my failed first relationship this whole other partner thing is absoloute hell. It's by far one of the hardest things anyone can do in their life. I may have not experianced the full scope of the wonderful rewards but for fuck sake does the road to it have to be so difficult?

They say the Road to Hell is paved with good intentions. And the same can be said for the road to a relationship with members of the opposite sex. Now i know this rant is in no way helping my situation but it is a mindset i am stuck in for the moment. For a few week's now i've had no one specific on my mind and made no tentative steps towards pursuing anything. I've been busy, i've been lazy and inactive inbetween and i've been depressed. I also have with a minor social life and a fear of alcohol had less oportunities in life to express myself as other young person's do. I don't go about things the same way and i'm far behind in experiance and confidence. All these factor's and negative thought's make it harder to soldier on and see the worth of hurting myself in the pursuit of a significant other.

But i'm a young male and it is after all all i can think about. I see potential here and there. Girl's i'd like to know better. Girl's i'd like to share thing's with or breach the xxx certificate with but so far since my last outing there's been a lot of failure and missed chances and 1 horrible one sided mess. Recently i have caught my mind thinking of good friends and people ive tried to forget all in an effort for my imagination in that department to stay alive. And other than regular indulgance's i think my mind was screaming for new love interests to think about. Why else would it think of people i don't approve of think about?

1 week of placement left. And paddy's day to come so all's not so bad. There's at least 1 girl from my year i've had brief convo's with who seem's like an interesting new development. There's always Jade or Mystique slightly out of the box choice's, then there's of course possible society people, a blank page for Hope, a dying candle for Daisy and bizare thought's of aquantance's i usually wouldn't think of including one's i believe are otherwise orientated(if not really wierd).

Strained supposed friendships:

I think even with the wonderous decission of going to the society this year i still need more friends. My olde friend's are still possible to contact but i've seen next to nothing of them since i left my old year. Now of course i still have that dark rain cloud of PG hanging over me night and day ebbing and flowing inbetween hatred and acceptance. For more than a year since i've broken up with her i still have EXACTLY the same amount of contact with her that i had when we were dating, just of course less physical world contact. Most of our time together was forged in the evil world of IM and frankly she never left that part of our "relationship", she's still there, every day, even if we say nothing as usual, she's still there. I've resented it and accepted it many time's but it's still as unhealthy as our relationship was and sometimes even as a friend i'd just wish she'd just fuck off or act more like a friend.

For instance of late my unintentional bitterness slip's through my control filters and i come off as my grumpy self. But in trying to meet up my old gang of friends or just her on Thursday i was met with endless cryptic answer's and pointless questions. All i wanted to do was spend a brief chat with MY old friends. But some how it was all deligated through her stone walled answers to my unintended grumpyness and i ended up seeing no one. I forged my group of friends by following a girl i fancied and roping an male friend of mine in aswell. MY group may have been the shy quiet non-face's of the year but we sat consistently in the same place and spoke about very little. Then i dragged in PG and it was different again. The male friend was gone and my other interest in the group Budsey became my best friend. But it was all just a front. I knew feck all about half the group and had miss-giving's about others. It basically became just PG, Budsey and myself. And after i was gone i was left with one of the other memebers of the group also being with me repeating. A friend who i can't seem to understand and who's insesent talking seem's to suggest many thing's including a hint of opposite orientation. 

All i wanted to do was see my old friends. Not to be but im trying to organise something for paddy's day. Budsey's not up to anything. Could ask what's left of the rest and Avril who i mentioned it to. Cleo is another possibility but i'm afraid of her on several level's, mainly because of my own actions. Pg was full of indicission and cryptic non-replies that led nowhere that just increased my frustration with the whole idea of even trying to be a friend to my friends. I was TRYING and it was just impossible for some reason to get passed HER because it was all through her. Some how i didnt go through MY own friends to even see them. It had to be through the ex-gf that i brought into my group of friends and then left there with them. Sure i wasn't close to them but they were my friends. I joined it because of sweetcheeks, then fancied budsey, stayed in it and brought PG in and now im left with just 1 member who can be annoying but is still a good friend who i still can't figure out. She talks a lot REALLY fast, she has a confidence issue's, she mentions her flatmate and sister a lot like im expected to diferentiate between the name's or know them and on top of that i can't figure out if she's gay or not. She never mention's anything gossip like about such things. It's just borring insecure hyper-fast ramble's that just boggle the mind.

In other friendships i have all the new society people but i still have my olde Mainstay's of Gammaman and DS. DS has been away in scotland for the past 3 years and ive barely seen him each time he's back but he is quiet possibly my best friend. I miss him the most of anyone and if i go into movies or tv or writing i'd drag him along for support as he's always shared my interest's and been there for me. In another more indirect way Gammaman has always been there for me. Origionally back in secondary school i distanced myself from him for a while as he got a bit annoying. I didn't vote for him based on the logic of some false-gossip and yet he's always been there for me at different points. He's a charismatic force that's always been helpful and the school play and the society being parts of my life have been thanks to him. But lately i do get the sense that i attempt to lean on him too much or whatever, and in a schmaltzy kind of way i realise i haven't ever thanked him enough for what he's done. But what also confuse's me is i never got an acknoledgement from him in material form of my birthday. Ok so very very very few of my friends and what i have left of friends acknoledged or even knew about it but to not got a larger nod from him was slightly odd. I was at his 21st and gave him an odd present and so on, and yet selfishly i notice i got nothing in return. DS missed out on giving me mine because of weather grounding his plane but why next to nothing from the rest of my friendships is difficult to think about.

I guess my own mental illness and poor action's over the years pushed people away. But sadly it is in some way's my own fault. But it still sucks big time that i got nod's from partial friends from secondary school and newish friends form the society but nothing from the girls i spent 2 years with in college.

Note to self, more pro-activity in friendships, and make more friends.

The Study monster:

I had a bit of a natter with a counsler who specified in it and i kind of gained some confidence about the situation. But then afterward's i did feck all. I slumped into my saftey net's and didnt do a thing. But i am informed as to what i can do and it doesn't seem as scary. I have the skill's now to work at it i just have to make those baby steps more adult steps and slap myself into action. Psychology poster, portfolio, essay and exam's all need to be worked on and it is well within my grasp and scope of ability to do them. Im just so fucking me that i did act after that act. I felt so proud of that meeting and emailing my tutor that i just rewarded myslef and didnt do much else. With placement the next day i did nothing. That evening i tried to spend some friendly banter time with Gammaman but something was off about it, he thought i intended to break secrecy about certain society things to inform myself, when all i wanted was to be share time with a friend. And today well i just did my usual, catch up on a dying izzie, a dying galactica and a reset button smallville. Not much study in sight with the exception of attmepting to format and fix my attempts at a screenplay for a Tv pilot. It went well-ish till i got bored and took babysitting a fire way to seriously.


I loved it. It worked as best it could as a movie and i love the new ending. It's brilliant and i can not wait for the full super-edition which will stick in the Bernie's and all the other chopped stuff for the sanity of audiance's. As a reader of the comic i didnt even notice the lenght as a problem, i expected everything that came up, sure there were something that were pointless like a dream sequence taking too long or extending the prison sequence for action purpose's but it was all good. And the ending was supurb. I finally got some of the bit's just before the changed ending and it worked well. Slightly sad for a certain charecter but still brilliant. Considering 9/11 the ending did have to be bigger and it worked that way and i am happy to say i do not miss the squid.

As for my last point it was evident throughout. My conclusion from my ranting is that all of my "problem's" require me to act and to work at them. If i want my friends to be better friends, i have to be a better friend and be around more, do more things and talk to them more often. If i want a relationship i have to be socially active through my friends and in general in order to discover someone who will finally say yes. And the study i have to act at anyway, it's a given, i can see how i can be interested in my course i just have to work at it, i cant sit around saying wo is me about everything. Through doing i will grow all of these problems and they wont be so bad.

"You can either impose yourself on reality and then write about it, or you can compose yourself on reality by writing" Hunter S. Thompson.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Fold Like a fifty, drink like you have no liver and live life to a reutine not a refrain.

Wohoa, long title. But then again i probably have a lot more me centric things to say this week than normal. No two cent's for now, but also some actual gossip as i made brief sortie's into social scene's to be seen, heard and have a good larf.



Coursework and The state of healthcare, a mistaken and informed rant:


In dealing with my problems and soldiering on with my sense of duty to a course that furthers my low mood i have done a few things this week. Firstly i'm on a new ward, a rather sketchy ward since it's oncology and haematology, but with the way the HSE and The Workhouse are run it's nothing but Oncology patients. Some doing well, some for further treatment, some on yet another cancer and some closer to the end. It is supposedly a heavy place, sure is considering how hard it is with just 12 patient's on the ward and only covering 4 myself. On normal ward's its easy enough to juggle 6 patients and 2 side room's with 1 staff nurse with you and maybe a second from a neighbouring ward bay that you are semi-also on. But with just 4 cancer patient's it's difficult enough. I still haven't gotten my head around it but you have to watch ever system, check everything. Normal Vitals’, Intake and Output, Bowel's, Weight, diet, oral care, psychological care and a few other's especially blood results. It's stressful to say the least and when i'm my dazed and confused low mood self it's difficult to do it all when i've only had 5 hour's sleep and my heart and definitely not my head aren't in it.



Following heated discussion with Parental's, it's still very unlikely that i'm switching course. Recessionary time's and all the money spent on me and all that. I don't have major qualm’s with nursing. It's a very good job. Hell i love it when it's interesting. I love Theatre, Pead's, Psych and Plastic's/burn's but the general, and especially MedEl, i just loath. It's nearly impossible to help some of the medEl patient's, they will always be that way and get worse. All the olde hospital's nearly on the very edge of the Workhouse are devoted as dumping ground's for the bed blockers and it's just depressing and tiring. It's a sign and symptom of the very nature of what's wrong with Health Care in this country and a lot of the west. This isn’t Cuba. Doctor's don't get paid less than builders and force you to be checked up every year for fear of imprisonment.


No here in the free capitalist market, and the free-for-all republic of Ireland people can waste away their health with free will and poor lifestyle choice's. With our very freedom we are inviting otherwise non-existent illness's and disease's that we shouldn't get in the first place. Now that the west has concurred Smallpox, MMR, Malaria, Syphilis, Dysentery, Hunger and so on we instead get Cancer, HIV, Hypertension(high blood pressure), Hypercholestremia(high cholesterol),  Diabetes’s and Heart Disease. We by curing what kill's us and living with free will instead incite illness we can easily avoid if we lived by some pretty shity lifestyle rule's.


There's no fun to life with no ice cream, no over-consumption of factory meats, to moderate exercise and decreased Automation of everyday task's, to no freedom of lifestyle or freedom of consumerist consumption. And yet certain alternative's are better for us? Certain way's of thinking would insure we were all "healthy", "happy", "compliant" and less fearful of death, which in essence was a simple thing until we unravelled the mind and became so sedidentary. Roman's died all the time no one gave a shit, Jade Goody's and Princess Diana's die every day but are not famous and no matter what their stature people morn and mope far more greatly than history and fiction would have us believe our ancestor’s did as it was so common to them.




Wow, 2 cent's indeed, i guessed i lied.


Onward ho!


Society dealing's:



Ah the Society, how i missed thee! It's great to debate. It's great to see people logically and illogically argue the shit out of the craziest and most highbrow of things even if they are not qualified to do so. It's great to see people make pretension into an art form. And it's great, even through failure or unpreparedness to be a part of such a cacophony of oral prowess and gymnastic leaps of thought, reasoning and verbal diarrhoea. I am of course speaking of me Speaking at a debate in the Glorious Chamber of the Society. 


Setting: The Society

Motion: Something to do with the GAIDs

My position: Originally Opposition, then prepared for proposition that was against my views, then told i had to do opposition......


Frankly it was a bit of a mess. Given my unique viewpoint of being adopted, a hetroflexable male nurse(forgot to mention hetroflexable, although probably to ward off the camp gay's) and of course being generally left wing and open to all people's except for the Chinks and the Irish.


So i was last op, good buzz. I had fuck all prepared and had prepped my prop while on placement and i believed some of it. I could have given a funny and not so convincing speech full of the usual idiotic anti-gay adoption arguments. Stuff like poor role model's and denying male adoptee children the right to fantasize about lesbian's without thinking of their parents accidentally and in  freud-ingly destructive way's. No instead i went in with fuck all prepared and verbally spat out shite about Family and the Right's of children. And basically an incontestable argument that all these children in need, NEED a family of any kind to support and love them. And if the gay's wanted to do that the fair fuck's to them because few Irish parent's want to foster local kid's anyway, it's all designer babies and all that deplorable and also charitable stuff. 


It went well, i guess. No POI's, none what-so-ever. A few pat's on the back. A wierd brief convo with a dental nursing student who said i was the only other male nurse he'd ever met, weird to say the least. And oddly Hattrick was there with an obviously otherwise orientated other. I would never put that past her, she is after all an enigma and frankly it doesn’t surprise me even if it's a bitter why didnt she like me cop-out, it does make sense in connection to her excuse. Didn't actually talk to her, didn't really have to or particularly want to after i spilt my self-reflective proud to be adopted gut's out onto the chamber floor and won the room over. Well i doubt it was me, we probably won before anyone spoke, but damn i was at least 2nd or 3rd best at selling it!


I have to give a bula bus to Gammaman and his effort's with "his" freshers. We're a devoted bunch to say the least. And 5 of us spoke that night, 3 of us for our maiden speech's. Unfortunately i don't have nickname's for any of them. There's so many character’s that it's hard to keep track. But Dona, part of a twosome of non-speakers was probably the best. She had NEVER debated before and she was amazing, she had bubble's and everything! An art's student who i've seen speak multiple time's and will name Vickie was also good but she was very nervous and possibly let herself down just a tad but the raw potential and right frame of mind were there, she did probably give the 2nd best prop speech, difficult considering the shit motion.


I-T got a swearing fine which led to Sherminator collecting 2 fines, 1 for slagging I-T as he left and another for Not addressing the judge's and Percy by title, amounting to some 30 quid or so. A good larf.


Then on the friday i decided to join a charismatic and drunk Gamaman as he dragged society folks and freshers out for a meal and a session. I took his charity of one drink and pre-meal we shared the 2nd last of my jack-d and coke's that i brought from Aus.  TGI friday's on friday, it's a must! The group consisted of a good few familiar face's and a few i still have no name's for including one cutee i have rarely seen but have an interest in. But circumstance seemed to indicate that she hit it off with one of the other freshers who was closer to her age, so that option is seemingly unlikely. I also witnessed Gammaman planning drunken debating world domination with an older society member and a fresher merely based on name association to a previous team-mate. Also in keeping with the partial legend-wait-for-it-dary nature of the evening an old friend of Gammaman's popped up. Being a sailor of all things he was resourceful enough to crack open an apparently unopened flask of whisky that had been lying in the committee room for apparently 12 years. Powerful stuff, like fire to the mouth, lips, lungs and stomach. Basically acid. If it was a patient's urine id say it was full of blood, protein, high urea and probably creatine and bilirubin. Basically someone who's kidney's are fucked! And by the taste and near instant affect of it I’d say that's what it was designed to do. Whiskey left in metal for 12 year's is evil stuff!



Also on the card's of discussion was the possibility of a fresher's camping trip. And in the course of that i offered up a party at my gaff at some advanced point within the next few months. We have the space, and the house to do it. It would have to be controlled and moderate and camping in the garden a better idea than letting people in the house after-dark...



The Pulse of the universe:



Twitter. Wow twitter. Micro-blogging. I love to do it anyway to my friends. But the very idea that i am reading Will Wheton, Aston Kutcher, Brent Spiner, JJ Abrams, P Diddy, Barack Obama, Perez Hilton and Stephen Fry is just mind blowingly cool. I am actually witnessing P Diddy spill his gut's about Religion, im wathcing Stephen Fry miss the internet and tweet's as he disembarks a ship in Mexico and fly's back to New York. And i am also witnessing Perez Hilton complain of a hang over while i boast i've still never had one. Twitter is amazing, it's a meme that can't be ignored, but it's far from perfect. The comment's system on other people's tweets is week to say the least. But it's a powerful thing and it can only go from strength to strength. I'm actually "friends" with these people. I can talk directly with them! I can comment on their comments about their lives. And they the same if they follow me. So far only Barack Obama, Number 10 Downing Street and The Onion follow me, but hey, who can complain about bot's when you're linked to that calibre of clientele. 


Twitter is a force to be pay attention to. And i love the concept that BEBO now feed's my myspace, facebook, youtube and twitter. It's genius and yet my bebo is dying a death as all my new friend's are on facebook and it's inferior profile's. I WANT BEBO BACK! I haven't lost it, but it's lost it's attraction and use ability and frankly all my friends on it are not the same, they wont comment on things and i have less cause to talk to them if any at all. Such a shame.....

Eh im sure there was something else, but i've ranted and raved enough for now. Toodle-pips.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

My Two cents ala Kent Brockman

I for one welcome our new fiscaly talented overlords.......

Yeah, that's not going to happen. The world's financial situation is partially if not totally beyond the grasp of my fragile little mind but it really is up this particular place:

Both the Uk and Ireland, what i prefare to call the British isle's, as in the island's surrounding it not any form of ownership, our led by former financial minister's that weren't elected. To me that just seem's very very wrong. Infact both leaders in Ireland at the moment are technically not elected but the Irish love for complaining has suffered so much since victory over the brit's that we never actually act over anything. We bitched and moaned for 300 years of moderate subjugation and won. And now that we won we bitch and moan about our elected leaders and our fellow irish citizen's and new citizen's and european cousin's on work visa's, but we don't do anything. Our president, a non-position anyway, got a free house and sallary for another 7 years because no one became eligible to campaign against her in time. Our PM stepped in because our last one, also a former finance minister couldn't explain a gift loan for a house when he had no bank account... Our Current PM, a really unatractive bloated trout faced man with a thick country accent and no popularity seem's to think the country can go head first into Silage and we won't call for change.

I really dispise our governement. They can do very little right. I don't want to go into detail, and frankly i'm not qualified or dickheaded enough to think i could, but this country has a nack for doing the wrong thing in the most expensive way's possible. And i could have a basis for a history thesis by saying it started with that bloke who invited the Norman's over for a session and a good laugh and thought they'd leave his gaf in the mornign but instead stayed in one way or another for another 800 years. He thought he could solve his problem's by hiring some big lad's from france to keep out the culchies, but instead he got a false-marraige, some big castle's and eventually the brits. Great deal don't your think? 

Then as we whined and tried to get help from several enemy's of our enemy's we were never very greatful. After all, if we didn't hate the brit's so much we wouldn't have looted the Spanish Armada and found those Potatoes on beach's in Sligo, Mayo and Galway. Thanks to the brit's Ireland is split into industrial gem's, Cities, developed towns, forgotten place's underdeveloped bog's and Drogheda-type towns. Ie Belfast Successful but small industrial gem, Dublin an uber succesful swamp and Cork the Capital of the Republic, then you have town's like Galway, Where? place's like Letterkenny or Virginia and then Limerick and of course Drogheda a patch work quilt of history, irishness and an irish attempt and the north's love of shopping centre's... 

Oh and don't forget the trains. After all we never added to their wonderful network, no we ripped it up....

I may be different to most but i think a lot of irish mentalities have hurt our own people. If we weren't so Irish occupation would have been grand! Sure we may have been tared and feathered and Boycott wouldn't be a word and potato the most versitile Tuber in existance but we would have been..... A backward stonewalled tangent of the british isle's.... Yeah now that i think of it, fuck the brit's! We want no financial regulation, billion's in european tax payer's money and fuck-wit's runing everything, THATS THE IRISH WAY!

Now also glove's off and topical:

The plight of Jade Goody:

Now of course she is a dying mother doing the best for her kids, after all she's raised millions from publicity. But she is also dying. Is making profit from your own death and giving it to your kids really a good way to go?

It's disturbing to say the least. Death usually is an Obituary in the media. Not a prolonged shot by shot, stage by stage, hair by hair harrowing sob story exploited by publicity guru's. But she has also raised a lot of awareness of her illness. But i have to ask, why the big fuss? We're all going to die. I'm sorry but it's a fact of existance. We pop out, we walk, we talk, we learn, we touch ourselves, we touch others, we make babies, we pass on wisdom and we die. It's a simple process that every animal has done since the begining of animal life and even life by extention. 

Cancer is a tricky and hard to explain illness. It's all different and it's all caused and exacerbated by different things. Smoking as we all know increase's risk of lung cancer. Oddly Western lifestyle and heavy meat diet's lead's to increased Prostate cancer in aging. But as for Cervical cancer, it's risk's are increased by Early sexual activity, contracting certain form's of the HPV virus and predisposed genetic condition's that may cause more cist and other growth's in the Cervix and vagina. Several factor's when added together increase a woman's risk of contracting this awful disease. 

Jade Goody is no saint. She was unfortunate enough to be pre-disposed. Given her socio-economic background and troubled up brining it is plausible she had sex before or around 14 years old. It is also very likely that she had unprotected sex on a multitude of occasion's with men who may have carried strain's and type's of the HPV virus. She also has smoked and drunk copious amount's of alcohol within her life. Just because she is a celebrity of sort's doesnt mean she's special, she's just lucky and unlucky all at the same time. Many factor's and one's i may not know and could also be wrong about led to her being one of the unlucky few who have all these factor's and then develop a cancer as a result. All these factor's increased the risk of something slipping up in some odd cell's in her cervix when they multiplied and there coding went haywire and cancer formed. The DNA lost any sign of function or identity as a normal cell and it started to do it's cancer thang. She knew she was at risk, she was regularly screened and she recieved the horrible news while on Yet another big brother, this time related to an apoligy for a class clash with a washed up bollywood star. 

Cancer can happen to all of us. It's unpredictable. Factor's increase the risk, some factor's cause it directly such as toxin's and radiation and some cancer's we know very little about. But Cancer is inevitable, it is only previlant because we don't die of everything else. Smallpox is gone, Measle's, Mumb's, Rubella are almost gone. Polio is being eradicated. Influenza's are frequently vaccinated against as they change. But Cancer, cancer isn't a virus, isn't a bacteria, isn't a fungus, it's Human Cell's. It's our own DNA fucking up and being something different. And we are all at risk.

Life itself mean's that one day you will die. "Death is Certain, the Hour is not."

This also raise's an interesting question:

What if Jade Goody went to Switzerland for Assisted Suicide?

Would her influence on cervical cancer awareness being over shadowed by the illegality of her action's? 


Would people understand her heroic devotion to her children through publicity and forgive her for taking control of her debilitating illness and getting rid of the pain.

It's an interesting question, and i don't seem to have an answer, but i like the question none the less.

A Moi-centric post in some time in the near future, ie today or tomorrow. One step at a time, for the greater good, cross that bridge before i burn; it all that jazz.