Saturday, March 28, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Easier said then done. Admitting it is the first step. Ha, admitting. I know that mainly covers obsessions and addictions but in some aspects in can cover mental illness. But in my case ive known full well im a few bee's short of a bonnett, or insert other phrase here. Basically i'm trying with a more concious effort at the moment to get on the correct path, whateve that be. Mainly a metaphorical thing to do with good positive decisions and a load of whoha that i don't really want to over analyse because I THINK TOO MUCH. No i really do. I may not be a big academic type, sure im slightly on the posh opinionated long winded side, but im not THAT proficiant at it. No i'll return to this later. My rambling and negativity is slightly more grounded than some deep analylitical bs. Or at least it's so cocky and well established that i at least don't think it is... Who knows, my fingers have run away from my intentions, onward to the gossip.
Now i am no Carrie Bradshaw, No gossip girl, No Hunter S Thompson and certainly no... Okay i ran out of people, but you get the jist.
Ah placement, it be over. Fuckadoodledoo. How wonderous not to have to wake at 5am to work a 35 hour week for free for the sake of learning. By the end of all this ill have been in semi-slavery for 4 years of no pay and 1 of midocre pay. I pitty the REAL nursing students. The girls insane enough to work as carers and agency nurse's in their spare time. I'd die on the inside if i had to do all that. I prefare to be the automiton nurse following orders but with a playful smile as i finish my tasks. I don't get to close to patients but i still feel for them on some levels. For me their more minor friends you'd like to see leave. Not in a harsh way, but you'd rather they weren't there. You'd prefare it that none of them were there. It would be great if the hospital's were all empty and you could meet these people under normal circumstance's and actually know them. Instead of poping in to them several times a day and asking to squeeze their arm, shove a probe in thier mouth and interigate them about thier diet, fluid intake and bowel motions and if their in pain. It's just not right. You can't really be friends with someone you have to care for that closely. So i get on with it. After all, im going to finish this crapolloa as i know of nothing else to do in the mean time. Get the fall back job then follow dream's of writting and so on.
Social life's and further sorties via soiree's:
Ah last week was pretty good social wise. Ok sure i didn't go out on paddy's day. That was an failure to plan anything bust. Who knew asking your friends to be your friends could be so difficult, or to get people doing nothing to do something, or to even expect a reply. Ok so i didnt push home an agenda, i didnt have a set plan. I was only finding out stuff, but it still sucked to get nothing. But tis the past now. As even better there was a Soiree at Dona's. Twas all in good fun, if not an odd collection of gammaman's bizzare intelectual harem. No seriously, if i got anything from that night it was that Gammaman appeared to be a free agent or at least slightly desturbing in the company of so many smart younger female's. Now of course i didnt have much to say as is me anyway, and didnt want to contest a essance destroying arguement about Annie Hall, ill return to that. But if anything the person i should suposidly know the most surprised me. I've known him 9 years, and it felt as if i barely knew him. Suspicions and questions rolled around my head and i didn't know what i was thinking, but something was up. Then an odd dream where he was "involved" with yet another Harem member who wasn't there was rather unsettling a dream to have, where's my totty, stupid subconcious!
Now that movie arguement, and my movie arguement. I really dislike The Departed. Mainly because Infernal Affair's is better and somehow more believable. The Departed may be gritty, well acted and full of fowl language but it's OTT, it pushes it too far and somehow feel's longer and make's you care less. And if you've seen the other you know the twist's anyway even if they're different movies, which they're not. It's just a Hollywood rehash that i just can't believe in. It's not the masterpiece people claim. It goes to far to try and be different and become's laughable and annoying compared to the origional movie that you can't get over if you see it first. Now i couldn't articulate my hatred of The Departed the way i wanted. I mostlikely seemed stuburn and missinformed or argumentative, and i suppose i was and am. But it's just to much, Nicholson especialliy is taking the piss, the violence is hyper-violent and less believable. It's more about this dark alien world than the intrigue and tension of the origional. It pushes it and doesnt work the same way.
No i was stuburn about my view of movies again. I slightly more opinionated and seemingly well educated, possibly english student friend of donna's really got my critic juice's flowing and then running in full retreat with my metaphorical tail between my legs, or my falice, which-ever you want to pick on and evicerate. Basically she started Lauding Vickie Christina Barcelona. I had to step in with my poorly constructed "it's shit" argument. Basically i found it boring, un-interesting and in now way good. She instead found some deeper insane non-film viewers analysis of it that was just disturbing. "It's about how american's view barcelona...." and all this insane Arts'y over thinking that NO FAN OF FILM WOULD USE. I then said even worse defended Annie Hall say that it did have a plot. Even worse she went into overdrive about how i didnt and was about a relationship doomed to failure and all this stuff. And i just sat gawping at her. The ball's, the arogance, the over-educated misinformed buzz kill. It's an oscar award winning Rom-com. It may not have a conventional structure but tearing such a masterpiece down with the pointless long words of an art-critic was beneath the brilliance of Annie Hall. You don't get Annie Hall, you don't understand it, You simply WATCH AND LOVE IT. You laugh, you enjoy the charecters. You see the jokes as what they are, you see the characters as they play out. You don't watch LOTR and think it's about the a-bomb! You don't watch Annie Hall and think it's something more than an amazing combination of wit, cinematography and writting.
Yeah, non of that was worth saying. I sat back and just accepted defeat at was a far more opinionated and self-assured arguement. And i call myself a debator. That however was a debate it was education ruining pop culture. I know i like pop culture, id study it if i could but that was just too much. To see something so beloved ripped down in the middle of a friendly gaggle of younger female's and 2 inept former schoolmates. I actually don't know what i intended to say about it all, just to say it. It was a great enjoyable evening, but i couldnt help but feel a little out of place. On the other had i renewed my interest in one of the Harem members who i had noticed first when i returned from Oz. And more and more so id be interested in seeing where that could go, just not sure how to approach it just yet.
Oh, wow, that was a lot on movies.... Collage, i mean College with an accent of course...:
Ah back to lecturne's, i mean lectures. Ah all a bit of the same i guess. Pharmacokenetics, GIT and oh wait that was it. 4 Lectures, somehow very tirering sitting in the same place. Nice to reconnect with Chatterbox, possibly more so than ever but then again we're all each other has in lectures. Noticed the other interests and charecters about the place, most of them infact. Glimpse of mini-j in the distance, side views and the odd spotting of Mystique and i sat infront of Daisy for the last 2 lectures. Basically ignored her, and didn't care to much, the odd fleeting thought. She was playfully friendly with her friends but i didnt pay much attention to it. Noticed as i was leaving what she was wearing, oh tights, to have a gf who wear's tights. Brief glimpse of Jade to. She had been on the luas one of the nights the previous week. Never got talking to her but she said goodbye, possibly aware that i shared a few glance's in her direction. I don't even know why i mention them. All meaningless really. Different stance with Chatterbox but i don't plan on going anywhere there, for one i don't think i'd be interested anyway, or if my aural translation matrix's could keep up.
Oh yeah, last point. 90's trance:
Y'all know that song that's all about "bring me down", i can't place the lyrics. I think it's by ace of base or something. And of course my genre naming is probably off, but that's a song that i'm think is my motto for the moment.
Oh and chance encounters, damn i really have rambled today. Well today in my wonderous procrastination and so on, i ran into Hope briefly. Probably a bad impression if not odd. I rambled and took apart something that was only a off the hand remark, and frankly i don't know why but it was stupid and inane but then again it was what we were talking about and i took it and ran with it. Nice to close on a goodbye joke, but unfortunatly i lost the rubber from my earphone and had to pop back to see if it was still beside her. Then i did a little walkabout and wondering. And one point seeing Cailin with someone i didnt recognise. And taking into account my thoughts about Gammaman i put two and two together and figured things must have been over there for a couple of weeks or more. Or ive blown somekind of trumpet like whistle with a can and some worms in it. But i doubt that. I think i just didnt need to know and i figured all that out on my own seperatly because it wasn't much of a big deal.
Eh, i ran out of things to say i guess. I over did it. And in essance this post IS procrastination, or mind dumping. But it's a large waste of time, thats for sure. Untill next time check out my Dark passenger dumping ground in the form of a sci-fi blog-fic about a reporter obbsessed with vampire's: http://leviathanvirus.blogspot.com/
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Wohoa, long title. But then again i probably have a lot more me centric things to say this week than normal. No two cent's for now, but also some actual gossip as i made brief sortie's into social scene's to be seen, heard and have a good larf.
Coursework and The state of healthcare, a mistaken and informed rant:
In dealing with my problems and soldiering on with my sense of duty to a course that furthers my low mood i have done a few things this week. Firstly i'm on a new ward, a rather sketchy ward since it's oncology and haematology, but with the way the HSE and The Workhouse are run it's nothing but Oncology patients. Some doing well, some for further treatment, some on yet another cancer and some closer to the end. It is supposedly a heavy place, sure is considering how hard it is with just 12 patient's on the ward and only covering 4 myself. On normal ward's its easy enough to juggle 6 patients and 2 side room's with 1 staff nurse with you and maybe a second from a neighbouring ward bay that you are semi-also on. But with just 4 cancer patient's it's difficult enough. I still haven't gotten my head around it but you have to watch ever system, check everything. Normal Vitals’, Intake and Output, Bowel's, Weight, diet, oral care, psychological care and a few other's especially blood results. It's stressful to say the least and when i'm my dazed and confused low mood self it's difficult to do it all when i've only had 5 hour's sleep and my heart and definitely not my head aren't in it.
Following heated discussion with Parental's, it's still very unlikely that i'm switching course. Recessionary time's and all the money spent on me and all that. I don't have major qualm’s with nursing. It's a very good job. Hell i love it when it's interesting. I love Theatre, Pead's, Psych and Plastic's/burn's but the general, and especially MedEl, i just loath. It's nearly impossible to help some of the medEl patient's, they will always be that way and get worse. All the olde hospital's nearly on the very edge of the Workhouse are devoted as dumping ground's for the bed blockers and it's just depressing and tiring. It's a sign and symptom of the very nature of what's wrong with Health Care in this country and a lot of the west. This isn’t
No here in the free capitalist market, and the free-for-all
There's no fun to life with no ice cream, no over-consumption of factory meats, to moderate exercise and decreased Automation of everyday task's, to no freedom of lifestyle or freedom of consumerist consumption. And yet certain alternative's are better for us? Certain way's of thinking would insure we were all "healthy", "happy", "compliant" and less fearful of death, which in essence was a simple thing until we unravelled the mind and became so sedidentary. Roman's died all the time no one gave a shit, Jade Goody's and Princess Diana's die every day but are not famous and no matter what their stature people morn and mope far more greatly than history and fiction would have us believe our ancestor’s did as it was so common to them.
Wow, 2 cent's indeed, i guessed i lied.
Ah the Society, how i missed thee! It's great to debate. It's great to see people logically and illogically argue the shit out of the craziest and most highbrow of things even if they are not qualified to do so. It's great to see people make pretension into an art form. And it's great, even through failure or unpreparedness to be a part of such a cacophony of oral prowess and gymnastic leaps of thought, reasoning and verbal diarrhoea. I am of course speaking of me Speaking at a debate in the Glorious Chamber of the Society.
Setting: The Society
Motion: Something to do with the GAIDs
My position: Originally Opposition, then prepared for proposition that was against my views, then told i had to do opposition......
Frankly it was a bit of a mess. Given my unique viewpoint of being adopted, a hetroflexable male nurse(forgot to mention hetroflexable, although probably to ward off the camp gay's) and of course being generally left wing and open to all people's except for the Chinks and the Irish.
So i was last op, good buzz. I had fuck all prepared and had prepped my prop while on placement and i believed some of it. I could have given a funny and not so convincing speech full of the usual idiotic anti-gay adoption arguments. Stuff like poor role model's and denying male adoptee children the right to fantasize about lesbian's without thinking of their parents accidentally and in freud-ingly destructive way's. No instead i went in with fuck all prepared and verbally spat out shite about Family and the Right's of children. And basically an incontestable argument that all these children in need, NEED a family of any kind to support and love them. And if the gay's wanted to do that the fair fuck's to them because few Irish parent's want to foster local kid's anyway, it's all designer babies and all that deplorable and also charitable stuff.
It went well, i guess. No POI's, none what-so-ever. A few pat's on the back. A wierd brief convo with a dental nursing student who said i was the only other male nurse he'd ever met, weird to say the least. And oddly Hattrick was there with an obviously otherwise orientated other. I would never put that past her, she is after all an enigma and frankly it doesn’t surprise me even if it's a bitter why didnt she like me cop-out, it does make sense in connection to her excuse. Didn't actually talk to her, didn't really have to or particularly want to after i spilt my self-reflective proud to be adopted gut's out onto the chamber floor and won the room over. Well i doubt it was me, we probably won before anyone spoke, but damn i was at least 2nd or 3rd best at selling it!
I have to give a bula bus to Gammaman and his effort's with "his" freshers. We're a devoted bunch to say the least. And 5 of us spoke that night, 3 of us for our maiden speech's. Unfortunately i don't have nickname's for any of them. There's so many character’s that it's hard to keep track. But Dona, part of a twosome of non-speakers was probably the best. She had NEVER debated before and she was amazing, she had bubble's and everything! An art's student who i've seen speak multiple time's and will name Vickie was also good but she was very nervous and possibly let herself down just a tad but the raw potential and right frame of mind were there, she did probably give the 2nd best prop speech, difficult considering the shit motion.
I-T got a swearing fine which led to Sherminator collecting 2 fines, 1 for slagging I-T as he left and another for Not addressing the judge's and Percy by title, amounting to some 30 quid or so. A good larf.
Then on the friday i decided to join a charismatic and drunk Gamaman as he dragged society folks and freshers out for a meal and a session. I took his charity of one drink and pre-meal we shared the 2nd last of my jack-d and coke's that i brought from Aus. TGI friday's on friday, it's a must! The group consisted of a good few familiar face's and a few i still have no name's for including one cutee i have rarely seen but have an interest in. But circumstance seemed to indicate that she hit it off with one of the other freshers who was closer to her age, so that option is seemingly unlikely. I also witnessed Gammaman planning drunken debating world domination with an older society member and a fresher merely based on name association to a previous team-mate. Also in keeping with the partial legend-wait-for-it-dary nature of the evening an old friend of Gammaman's popped up. Being a sailor of all things he was resourceful enough to crack open an apparently unopened flask of whisky that had been lying in the committee room for apparently 12 years. Powerful stuff, like fire to the mouth, lips, lungs and stomach. Basically acid. If it was a patient's urine id say it was full of blood, protein, high urea and probably creatine and bilirubin. Basically someone who's kidney's are fucked! And by the taste and near instant affect of it I’d say that's what it was designed to do. Whiskey left in metal for 12 year's is evil stuff!
Also on the card's of discussion was the possibility of a fresher's camping trip. And in the course of that i offered up a party at my gaff at some advanced point within the next few months. We have the space, and the house to do it. It would have to be controlled and moderate and camping in the garden a better idea than letting people in the house after-dark...
The Pulse of the universe:
Twitter. Wow twitter. Micro-blogging. I love to do it anyway to my friends. But the very idea that i am reading Will Wheton, Aston Kutcher, Brent Spiner, JJ Abrams, P Diddy, Barack Obama, Perez Hilton and Stephen Fry is just mind blowingly cool. I am actually witnessing P Diddy spill his gut's about Religion, im wathcing Stephen Fry miss the internet and tweet's as he disembarks a ship in
Twitter is a force to be pay attention to. And i love the concept that BEBO now feed's my myspace, facebook, youtube and twitter. It's genius and yet my bebo is dying a death as all my new friend's are on facebook and it's inferior profile's. I WANT BEBO BACK! I haven't lost it, but it's lost it's attraction and use ability and frankly all my friends on it are not the same, they wont comment on things and i have less cause to talk to them if any at all. Such a shame.....
Eh im sure there was something else, but i've ranted and raved enough for now. Toodle-pips.
Thursday, March 5, 2009
I for one welcome our new fiscaly talented overlords.......