Eh, that very numerical title has a purpose, or at least i think it does....
The 39 steps, a very good thriller that's been remade a good few times.
The 12 steps, addiction programme recovery thing. Differs from addiction to addiction, or at least i think it does.
Catch 22, a very poignant phrase and philosophical idea that in essence is pure genius and a great work of fiction. The fictional example being that you have to be insane to be a bomber pilot, but in order to not be kicked out of the air force you have to be insane, A catch 22.
My Catch 22 and 39 steps as apposed to normal 12 steps is as follows, if you're following. I'm suffering from a mental illness. In order to get better i have to be active and willing to help myself. But if i was up to helping myself or in the right mood to be active, then i wouldn’t be depressed. Well it's far more layered than that but it's a nice lead in to why i titled this particular blog this way.
As for the 39 steps, basically that's a joke at how many avenue's of help i have to follow in order to know how best to help myself. This includes, my CPC, some type of uber-cpc, Student Counselling, my tutor, my parental units, my gp, possibly a consultant psychologist/psychiatrist and possibly medication in conjunction with other steps if they don't work well enough. So in essence nearly a dozen if not more avenue's of discussion, decision and deliberation in order to demonstrate deliberate dealing's with depression.
So i was with student counselling and i had to set goal's etc, i dont want to go in depth. I also went to the gp to talk about it. Also had to talk about my current cold/opportunistic infection in order to determine if i could go back to placement. I took last friday off as i was knackered. I in turn caught something and have been sick ever since that evening. I had to take monday off and today was my day off. Now i have 3 day's left of this specific placement and the main nurse i work with is only in tomorrow, wonderbar, im sick, and not quite infectious but not up to donning a tunic and being altruistic. I'm zonked by million's of thing's a billionth my size and i can't do anything about it but "rest". My new gp told me to rest for till friday. But i don't really have that choice, i need to get document's signed and so on! Oi Vey!
Procrastination, an under-ratted art form:
I was knackered on friday. Really really knackered. My train was then sub-sequentially late. Standing on the luas platform at 705am i just thought, i'm going to severely late and i'm half dead. It's my day off and i have to pay back a "sick" day that was forced apon me for having the runs? Fuck that shit, i have money in my pocket, ME DAY! Walking down
The road to hell is paved with good intentions:
Now in going to the cinema i remembered my mother mentioning that that particular cinema, my favourite movie-house was looking for jobs. So i print out my much touted CV from back when i started this 2nd 2nd year knowing i owed money, before anxiety, rejection, lack of follow-through, study and laziness and the recession got in the way of job hunting. A very good intention. But on my belated way too said cinema i still had a limp, and it hurt! So i took nearly 15 minute's to go from campus all the way too lower
Diner with Hope:
She was busy with essay stuff, and well i had feck all else to do and had planed it only because i got credit for my phone. Enjoyable friendly banter. Not exactly what expected, but what did i expect. Cheap-o baguette’s from Londis and we sat watching middle-class rebel's at the foot of Ye Bank. Then wondered back to campus and a bit of a chat in the Soviet bunker in the warmth. A good evening if not shorter than i expected or intended after what i told the parental's. This left me with a couple of hour's still in town with all of 3 euro left. Don't ask where it all went, i have a nack for spending it all, even if all is 5 cent or 25 euro... So computer's ho! A slightly disappointing blog on the movie's i saw, just really lack-lustre and weak, really weak. And then switched computer twice as class's took hold at 7pm on a friday in the college, who would have thought people learn in college? Then the "laser hut" comp's were wonky and switched again. Made my train though and got home, albeit feverish. Where did i catch it, i'll never know. Friendly if not mistaken text to Cleo and discussed my general upset nature with my course if not onsidely and pointlessly. She knew all the answer's and seemed hostile, i don't know why i bothered.
Weekend was a non event:
Caught up on Dexter and Californication. Suffered from my illness. And rediscovered the joy's of Halo and Civ2.
Monday, sick. Dog watching and cleaning-up-after.
Today, already mentioned, but also the highlight, the master-trump card the dance's on the inside and outside in spritely joyous fashion! My b-day present from my ex-pat sister! A digital camera, a beast of a digital camera, and small and functional and generally amazing. I love it. Filmed the dog's and snapped a few pic's and i just love it. It's amazing and i'm glad it arrived, it was starting to look like some gun-hoe x-ray technician in Far-far-away went "Yoink" and gave it to their peg legged sweat-shop child or something. Wow, how utterly bigoted and pessimistic... But hey, i have renewed faith in olde timey mail.
In Other news.....
In brief, everyone should have either Civilization 2 or Open TTD on their pc's. No if's no buts’. Simple game's that are timeless and endless. They also are both so old that you can run them in the background while you do your web-thang and so on and you can just drop into them pausing and un-pausing and generally having your way with profit or other people's empires.
Open TTD, is simple to get. Just get Transport tycoon deluxe off of Abandonware.com. Then Google Open ttd and nab the latest stable version, preferably the installer. Then install it, tell it where you put the unpacked TTD. And bob's your uncle you have basic open ttd modded glory. Then after that at your leisure look up some snazzy Grf file's like train sets, the wonderful Av8 for planes, all the pretty stations and a few other mod's and you can beautify your game's however you like. It's an amazing game, it's childishly simple and it's god damn addictive. Seeing your choo-choo's make a profit is always pleasing.
As for civ 2. Eh, buy it! I have both my sister's original copy from 1996 and a collector's edition that i got in a super huge pack with all the other civ's of relevance. Excluding the awful Call to Power series. Civ 2 is just endlessly fun. Feck the upgraded graphics and so on. This simple Risk like version is the Epitome of simplicity. Possibly the best strategy game ever if it weren't for a few out of date AI shortcoming's and annoying movement rule's and lack of ingenuity. Phalanx vs Tank being a major problem, or even the speed of development in some game's. But i love it. I addictively spent at least 4 summer's as a night owl enthralled in this game and crushing enemy after enemy with my iron finger tips.
Anyhoo, rant over, "cry-ses-ies" being dealt with on many level's and i big y'all a due for now.