Friday, August 28, 2009

Crazy characters

So last night afte a long day of flimmin and flamming about with study and feeling highly unproductive and unsuccesful, with maybe all of 4 hours of real work from 8am-8pm i joined Gammaman and a few others in the Society's favourite watering hole for a few drinks and a good ole chat.

Gammaman being the lucky charasmatic succesful sod that he is, is off to Europe inter-railing with Sherminator and Egyptian Paul. That alone is a hilarious image unto itself so i can imagine there will be quiet a few stories to be envious of when they return.

So Gammaman had several of us there for some drinks before he heads off at the start of next month and it was good couple of hours. I even bought him a round as i owe him for trying to push my study and for my brief lock out from social networking, which i then subverted....

Then i had to dash off to get the bus.

Oddly the LED lightshow WASN'T on Liberty Hall. Either it was broken or not enough people had submitted graphics. Which is a real shame because it's supposed to last a good while as far as i remember. They could easily just play tetris on it on a constant loop!

So i was getting a bus from Busarás at 11pm.

Got there on time. Two coaches sitting there. Neither opened up or moved.

A bus carrying the number i was looking for flew around the back of the station and then disapeared, it looked like it wanted to get into a blocked parking space but then it just fucked off into the night.

So there i was having to wait another 40 minutes for an even slower bus service back home.

The glow of the garda station, the dinging of Trams on the Luas line, and the odd dart and Westerly commuter chugging by on the loop Line viaduct.

If the trains were still running my train would have been the last train of the night at 1135 on platform 4. I had cuaght it often enough, sometimes in a mad dash to.

But here i was with an ever building crowd of very cold people waiting for a bus.

A beggar kept comming around asking for cigerettes even jostling and joking with some people in a slightly threatening way, but only from the corner of your eye. He had a black eye and was really disheveled and had more wrinkles and nooks and craneys on his face than the flex on a vacuum cleaner. He eventually got a cigerette rolled up for him from a very large block with a ruck sake and a homemade fag in his mouth and a newish white beard with patches of colour. The end of his cigerette was thicker than the mouth peice, sort of a cone with its base at the burning end.

To my right was a rather twitchy business woman who talked to no-one and kept pacing from side to side and rubbing her arms or lifting her leg to rub off the other. It wasn't that cold of a night but she seemed to think it was the coldest weather possible.

Eventualyl at 1135pm the bus that had arrived as i got there opened up. It was the 1140pm 101 to Drogheda.

Some 32 people got on that bus. A large crowd for that time of the night on a thursday, i'm guessing.

Nice plush seats and even proper over the shoulder seat belts.

To my right sat a guy around my age reading a film magazine with feirce interest and awe, instantly turning on his over head light to stop any disturbance when the cabbin lights went down.

In the row directly behind him was a rocker chick. Dyed short blond hair, with tufts and highlights of black around the crown of her head and at the back. A 2-3 cm stud piercing sticking out of the middle of her lower lip. All her cloths black and hard to make out in the dark. The one feature i couldn't help but notice was her form fitting tights that reflected a lot of sultry light in the dark of the bus. Not an easy distraction to have in your perifory when reading a book.

I'm still reading On The Road, hey i'm a slow reader and haven't had much time, with my horror of study which is possibly the worst study anyone has ever done, or at least i feel it's that way.

Each time i pick it up though i love it. I had read to the end of the 1st part earlier during my evening meal of A Recession Buster in the upstairs of Burger King on Grafton street. Staring through the light drizzle every few minutes at the passing crowds and the Native American buskers who were packing up.

The bus sped through the night and empty roads up to the airport. Nothing but back roads and odd stops here and there.

Then at the airport we stoped for a few minutes.

Several more people got on.

At the bus stop below a very french looking girl with blond hair and tired eyes stood chatting on a phone while holding what looked like a smoothie cup. But instead of a fruit drink it was a fruit salad. I guess it was the packaging but why in a smoothie container?

Beside her was a more definate Irish woman who had slim head wrapping earphones that completly covered her ears. Without a care she bopped from side to side to her music. She wasn't the most attractive thing you could imagine and prejudice might had assumed she was a lesbian but she seemed completly care free in the cold and with surrounding strangers to just slowly shuffle side to side on the bench to what ever music came to her through what were very dedicated earphones. Silver with black finish and chipped, the well worn signs of a music lover.

As we kept waiting i noticed both the Movie guy and the Rock Chick were both sitting in similar positions and clasping their hands in the same way. For an odd moment i had to do a double take but they then both changed positions to completly different ones and the bizarre moment passed, but probably not the bizarre.

In stepped a backpacker who sat beside me.

His rucksack spilling out onto the aisle.

He rustled and fumbled with a large now empty 2 litre water bottle, a few other nick knacks and an iPod. He then settled in and leant back with his foot raised high and leaning on the arm rest of the seat infront of him.

It was then i noticed he was wearing shorts and a t-shirt, at 00.00 in August, in Ireland, in a cloudless, moonless night. Not only that, but he was wearing sandles!

I kept reading most of the way to Balbriggan, Sal Paradise being inspired by the mania of his second big incounter With Dean Morriarty at christmas 1948, fast passed infectious righting that i was struggling to keep reading as the night wore on and my tiredness set in.

Through the side of my eye i wondered about the back packer. Where was he going at this time of night. Why did his iPod look so old. He was around my age, with shaggy blond hair and slightly bronzed skin. For a while i though Gap year student or erasmus student returning but it all came back to the sandles and shorts, no irish person would wear sandle's, not at night after a day with rain even if they just arrived. No he HAD to be an Aussie.

The movie guy left somewhere before Balbriggan in the middle of the picth black. And the hitchhiker hoped into his seat and slouched again, feet up.

He swayed about with his new freedom of space and looked at everything he could make out in the dark. Leaning into the ailse to look ahead.

The seat infront of me was a guy whering a beanie hat and he had loads of luggage with him. As he got up to leave i realised he had 2 guitars, a slimmer shorter case i couldn't identify, but most likely an instrument and a ruck sake. He struggled with it all as he stood up in the moving bus and briefly the Hitchhiker held one of the guitars as the Beanie Guy sort himself out.

At the following stop just inside Balbriggan the rock chick got up and i couldn't help but follow her movement down the ailse, and seemingly so couldn't the Hitchhiker who's excited looks around the bus and out the window briefly found a target for his attention.

When we reached the end of Balbriggan the bus driver stopped and checked if anyone wanted to get off or was asleep.

He walked down the ailse and stopped at the row infront of the hitchhiker.

In a thick African accent he proceeded to wake the woman who was sleeping there.

Several times during the journey she had dropped a mobile phone or something and now had been quiet for a while.

For close to a minute she slowly woke as the Driver kept asking her "Do you want to get off here, we're in Balbriggan, are you going to Dro-he-da or Bal-brigg-ann?"

Slowly she mumbled back to life and started to gather her things. Then more crashes and thumps. She had dropped more of her stuff and another African guy wearing a Paddy Cap helped along with an Eastern European guy in a leather jacket. She Mumbled none sensicle things in a think Dublin or Culchie accent that was impossible to regionalise let alone make out the words.

She proceeded down the ailse slowly and then stopped again at the steps down to the driver and then out of the bus.

The hitchhiker had been watching the whole thing bouncing back and forth in his seat with a sort of child like excitment thinking this was the funniest thing ever. He cought my eyes a few time's with the kind of knowing look you get when watching a movie with friends. I call it the "confirmation look". I catch myself doing it a lot when watching movies. I look to see what my friends or family's reactions are to certain parts, sometimes even looking to my side when no one's there. It's a sort of All inclusive "are you seeing what i'm seeing" look.

As she held the bus up by fumbling again on the stairs he turned to me and asked in an Aussie accent:

"Is shee peh-issed or jhust tie-ERED?"

A small smile crept on my face and i just looked down the ailse then back at him and just said

"Pissed" in a slightly inflected way to confirm that that was all that was needed to be said.

As the bussed pulled off her rather large Rear end stuck up into the air as she fumbled with her hand bag which was now collapsed on the pavement.

Beside it were 4 cans of Budwiser still with the plastic ring's sticking out of them, but appearing to be from seperate sets, so technically 8 can's of bear, with only 2 from each 4 pack remaining.

Off through the night we went again and i couldn't help but wonder where the Aussie was going.

We entered the short stretch of Meath around Gormonston and just passed it the Hitchhiker got up to leave.

We stopped outside two cottage pubs across the road from each other and the hitchhiker went off into the night. The second we started to pull away it became instantly dark around him, he had no reflective gear and the only light near-by was a car comming around a corner on a small road in the direction he was heading.

Cacky Shorts, a t-shirt, sandle's and a huge ruck-sack, in the middle of nowhere Meath at 20 to 1 in the morning. Talk about adventurous!

After that there seemed like nothing was exciting enough or as crazy. It was just a matter of getting home.

Arrived in Drogheda, the usual feux culchie accent greeting with each other of "Howaya" and off we went. Words about the hitchhiker what my dad called a "hard bloke" in a forced accent that i also could really identify but more kerry than the fake Louth or Offaly one he puts on to tell jokes or use certain phrases. He may have grown up in Clare but he's a North Dub at heart with a featurelss posh accent. Mine's worse though. I can't immitate any dialects what so ever, my voice is permenantly stuck. So sometime's when he does this silly immitations it just gets annoying, and proof that i can't understand where most of them are ever meant to be from.

Home close to 1 and i went to bed straight away. Noticing the lack of a moon, the amount of stars and the lack of cloud. It was at least 2 degrees or less. Where the "bloody" hell was that Aussie going at this time of night?

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Snap Happy #7

Any one else notice the big yellow orb in the sky? Rather strange huh!

Well i also noticed it, and i also noticed this:

Is it just me or is that the Jennie Johnston, ie the Famine Transport that was restored for tourism and as a museum?

What i don't get is... IT's a tall ship, and there's a Fixed bridge either side of it?

The New Bridge across the Liffey appears to be a Cable Stead Bridge, like the Dundrum Viaduct or the M1 Bridge in Drogheda. What i don't get is that it's blocking the way!!!!!!

Does it swing out so that the Jennie can leave or is the Jennie DOOOOOOOMMMMED, to stay there forever?

Because the bridge certainly can't lift! And it has fixed road at either end, or will when it's finished. And there's compensation for the possibility of trams, or so i've heard.

IS the Samuel Beckett bridge movable?

The answer is????

"The Samuel Beckett Bridge, Dublin City’s newest bridge, is due to span the maritime gateway to Dublin in 2008. Beckett Bridge, near Macken Street in the Dublin Docklands, will have four traffic lanes with cycle tracks and footpaths on either side of the bridge, while being capable of opening to accommodate maritime traffic. This landmark structure, of unique character, will have a curved profile leaning northwards resulting in a dramatic shape giving the appearance of a harp lying on it’s side."

So it can "accommodate" maritime traffic. Hmm interesting. So it must swing to one side, because i doubt it lifts up...

But the Jennie Johnston for a few months anyway is going nowhere!!!

To keep me awake yesterday morning i finished my collection!!!!:

Jolt Cola Can, Got to catch 'em all!

On a stroll this morning i noticed this appalling sight:

A six pack of beer, an empty can and a metro descrating the fair citie most reviered...whore.

The well proportioned and tourist catching Molly Malone with her Cockle's and so on has been desecrated...

Actually no she hasn't, it's just rubbish at 8am, but i binned it anyway.

What's more disgraceful is that tacking old man with the Borán! Oh how i hate him, almost as much as the African-Hibernian in the furry Leprachaun suit that stands about 7 foot.

To think we let tourist pose with these bozo's in front of a fammed whore? Really nice image that.

The BBC have got a winner!:

Since there's no more Where's Wally/Waldo books anymore, they might as well milk the White god of Car programmes for all he's worth!

How Buildings get taken down in China:

They Lifted that Digger up there, now that's using economic sense. You can't spare all those explosive's, your Chinese, you invented them, no stick one man up there with a Digger and let him have fun!

The Answer to all Male-Female Road trip relationship breakdowns, the Maptor!

A portable hand held projector that has an in built map storage and a gps locator!

Just point and display, even on your hand, and you can find out where you are!


Even the cat's have noticed!

But some are not amused:

See Explanation. Clicking on the picture will download the highest resolution version available.

A very special type of cloud that forms in long Tube's.

It's so rare scientists don't even know HOW it forms!

Goodbye for now.

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Monday, August 24, 2009


5 am wake up. NAY FUN, i can tell you that.

I got a Bus Eireann coach from the Drogheda Bus depot at 6.20am.

I arrived in town, Busaras, to be exact, at 740 or so.

The coach was comfy, if not crapped in the leg room department. I couldn't sleep or snooze because of the terrifying notion that i was actually moving involuntarily because of the pothole's, g-force of acceleration and breaking and general shoddiness of road based suspension. I was tossed around like a rag doll caught in a puppies milk-teeth(if they have milk-teeth). It was not a pleasant experience.

And my knee's, my poor knee's. Inch deep in the seat in front of me. Not enough room to splay myself with legs a-kimbo for comfort. The growing strain on my knee caps and other area's was uncomfortable to say the least.

And on-top of all that my arm rest wouldn't work! It would just flop back down, it wouldn't lock in place like a good little obedient chair feature. Even the seat belt worked eventually after excessive pulling, jerking, leaning to one side and fiddling about in a blind area with my hand squashed and reversed.

As you can tell i don't like buses. Or at least no longer, or not at 6am.

I used to get the 48A to school for most of my life, 2nd class all the way to 4th Year. I was as American's would call it, a "latch key kid". I would get the bus home, for a few years with my older sister, then on my own. For 3 years while still a kid i had an Au Pair in our suburban home so i wasn't coming home to nothing. But from 6th Class onto secondary school i was coming home to nothing, for like an hour...

But i loved the bus. I got a good nap and i was well used to it. It was reliable and there was other service's in the local area that also served town.

The 48A was invaluable though. But for several years it suffered because of the mass of development and road closure's and development in Dundrum. Oh the HORROR!

It would take 2 hours to get from Ballinteer to Ranelagh! 2 hours! It was awful.

Then i moved out to Louth. Trains, what a quaint idea.

5 years later and i think their the best thing since sliced bread, hell they pre-date sliced bread!

And now it's gone, for 3 months.

When i first started taking it it wasn't exactly the bee's knee's. It didn't run on the weekend's....

This was the 2005/06 upgrades to the track and station length. It was off putting to say the least.

But over the years the train has become my life. 2 hours everyday, sometimes more.

I know the network, relating to Dublin anyway, backwards, blindfolded, and spun in a centrifuge.

And now i don't have the train.

I have arrival time's for placement down to minute's!

I know exactly how my train and Luas interact and if i will be late or by the skin of my teeth.

Now i will be nothing but at least an hour late or even later.

There will have to be a solution, that solution might, just have to be, moving to Dublin.

The idea hasn't crossed my parents minds yet. After all i'm jobless, lazy, sponge-like dependant and basically a slob and a waste of space as it is.

But IF i get to the long awaited 3rd year of college commuting from Drogheda is an impossibility. There IS NO TRAIN LINK!!!!!!

I have no job. No job experience. No time for a job when i get to placement, and i am severely unwilling to work in care homes or any lower level health professional job, because it's menial, monotonous and requires levels of assertiveness and cleanliness that i could NEVER muster on purpose.

My solutions are vague to say the least. I need a job, not exactly easy. I need somewhere to live, even worse. I have place's i can "crash" when necessary, but i have no where to "live".

Delegation. Negotiation. Pleading. Or even more debt are the only way's i can alleviate this situation.

The idea insinuated by my parent's is that "I" have "no other choice" but to tell the hospital and Trinity that "i HAVE to be Late, and I HAVE to explain MY situation".

Frankly at this stage, my situation, is beyond excusable at this stage. The distance has been trying and exhausting for 5 years as it is, 3 of college being even worse.

My academic standing is poor to say the least. Not just from lack of interest but from lack of work and effort.

My assertiveness, a lack there of, in my nursing skills is appalling. I may be a caring person but i'm a bit of a headless chicken and pretty piss poor as a student. Arriving late every day would i NO way be excusable.

I got away with it in my second placement when i could ONLY get a lift with my mom at a later time and had to be a whole hour later for 2 or more weeks. The CNM's somehow accepted this.

On a side not they somehow liked me, or let me get away with that, when all 3 of the mature students were upstarts and troublemakers and were not liked by them. I was lucky that time...

I won't be lucky again. All my luck is needed in passing my exams.

Once i do that i CAN'T commute from Drogheda. It's a logistical impossibility that making it to Placement would even be viable.

Even if i were driving it would be impossible.

I need a solution. I don't know what it will be but i need one. Not something to add to my pile of distracted thoughts when i should be studying.....

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Snap Happy #6

Here's a few more found image's and image's of my own. Enjoy.

"Firefox Plugin's" (internet humour)

Just because he looks SO cool!:

But this is by far the coolest photo meme of the week:

I attempted to add THAT squirrel to it but no can do. A pity.

The Ultimate Film and tv collection, and he's selling!:

Twitter Office Humour:

Because Tortoise's love mashed potato!
Mashed potatoes?  My favorite!

Who you gonna call, when jesus shows up?



Grilled chocolate: Two slices of vanilla pound cake, dark chocolate in between, grilled till the cake is golden and the chocolate melted. I WANT SOME!

A Rather small protest in front of Trinity.....

Apparently we should Vote no to Lisbon, because of Palestine?

Daisy (the cat) on the dust blanket in my sisters room, well Daisy's room really...:

Ralph and Rosey Resting:

Trying to get them for ready for a close up.....:

Look at that sly look in his eyes!

Oh and by the way, i'm fucked thanks to this.....

A part of the Viaduct north of Malahide collapsed just after a train crossed over it.

50 people narrowly escaped certain danger.

But as a consequence some 10,000 people have to seek alternate route's into Dublin for the next 3 months, or longer, as Irish Rail try and repair or even replace this Viaduct/Bridge.

Things are NOT looking good for placement!

I may have to move into town temporarily. Avril has offerered a place at her's. And for non placement days i would have possibly been crashing in Gammaman's room on campus. SO what i'm going to do is beyond me!

It's a disaster!

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Friday, August 21, 2009

The Story Of Lore

Now i have mentioned Lore a few time's.

She was the first person i ever became obsessed about. And despite it all being a rather dark story it also was a learning experiance.

I never met her in person, and sometimes i don't know if she existed or not. But she was influencial in my life and i will discribe all i know about her.

First off i will describe what i first wrote about her in a diary back in 2004.

I will edit, censor, and abridge that entry as her real name and another person are mentioned throughout.

23rd Of October, 2004. (5th year, now living in Louth at this stage.) I was still 16. Some of my views are not what i believe now.

I keep this as brief as possible.
 ...I met Lore on the web and from the get go she was beyond doubt every mans wet dream, a nymph basically. She was 14 and extremely horny
and instantly said she liked me and on the second day we talked she wanted to meet up with me. Que the bank holiday Monday.
I was sick that day but still went into town, i was stood up, stayed in town for ages cause i was so sick in my stomach
that i didn't feel like going home just yet. Then i complained to all my contacts and sent a email to her asking why and all this
shit. Someone apparently pretending to be her said it was all a set up and all this, and i was really upset. Then latter in
that week she came online and didn't know anything about it and she gave this story of how her mom caught her trying to leave
the house in really skimpy cloths and that she was grounded. The supposed pranksters were cousin's she told about our meeting. I had pics of her and she encouraged me to use them to jack off to and all this stuff, and things continued for ages and i kept boasting about her to all the girls i knew on the internet except "Rose".

Then came the second time we where supposed to meet up but the week before we were to meet up i hadn't heard from her in ages.
I remember feeling alone and desperate and wondering what had happened to her.And then after sports day i got an email from her and she said that she had been grounded by her mom for two weeks because her mom had caught her kissing a girl. She said that she must have gotten the idea of the web and she wasn't aloud use it. I don't know if any of all this was true but she always said she hated her mom. Even now part's of that seem doubtful.

Then after ages and ages we arranged another meeting this time for the square Tallaght and by this time it was the summer. I
had given her a really shit pic of myself on the last day of school and i had a few more of her that where really hot.
She asked for me to get a camera for when we where to meet up so that she could have a topless pic of herself and us together
and all this idea's. Right my excuse for the Uci in Tallaght was i was going to see The most recent Harry pothead movie
with a few guys from school and my Dad dropped me off there. I waited for ages and looked in all the bathrooms for a condom machine
and i had to buy them in Boots and i bought a disposable camera. She never turned up and she had said she would be in a red
top and white skirt or the other way round i cant remember, i was really angry and i got the 75 home.

Lore had said we where going to go to her house in Naas and do it on her moms bed. Do it hopefully a few times and she would show me all the cloths she had  and all this stuff that seemed beyond perfect, beyond the best i could ever wish for. The whole time i had spells of thinking
it was all fake and all this and even Now after i was stood up for kind of the third time i went home and wrote a email of anger to her.

Now i sent a couple of emails of anger to Lore and then after like a week she sent me an email saying that she had had an argument with her mom and said she was going out to get laid and her mom sent the Guards after her and all this shit. She also said it wasn't going to work and we should move on and so i agreed to it. I was really upset and sent a email or two again and she said a few weeks later that she was with someone else her age and
they had done it and it hurt her to see an email from me and all this stuff so i deleted her and her pics.

A week or two latter i sent a large poem and email to her explaining how i felt and i never got a response.

Still to this day i don't know if it was all fake all i know is i want to send her another email saying that we could give it another shot and forget all the fuck ups before and all this shit, but if i did that i'd be messing around with all
my options ... in the near future or any girl from the choir. All i know is all
this shit with Lore are going to set my standards  for life on how i'll go about any relationship.


The Next occurrence:.

All of Fifth year went buy with her somewhere in the back of my mind. A longing of "What If?"

I had long since deleted her email. Living in Louth for the first couple of years i didn't have internet connection. Every Wednesday, my schools half day, i would wait for the 3.20 Enterprise from Connolly in order to get home. I would wait in a little grotty Internet Café nestled under the Loop Line Viaduct on Talbot Street mere metre's away from Connolly and Amiens Street.

I used this to stay in touch with SOME of my internet contacts. Especially my good Friend Rose.

At Some stage in early 6th Year i started sending emails to her again. After some trial and error i had RE-remembered her email. And on one occaision i attempted to hack into her email.

However i stumpled to correctly guess the answers to TWO security questions.

What is her Grand-dads name?

And what WAS the name of her Baby.

Yeah that one got me thinking. I got me worried. I discussed it with Rose in my neurotic way.

Eventually Lore responded. She saw several email's from me from a long period of time. I had never given up obviously, being the fool i am.

This response was the first of many but it was the next one that was the most telling.

She discribbed the time since our brief internet corrispondance. It would be farcical to call it a relationship or friendship.

She told me of how she partied a few time's. Slept with at least one other guy who was awful in bed after the friend she had previously mentioned.

But she was never really happy. She mentioned how she still felt a fondness for me as a friend and a good guy and so on, if not a TAD creepy.

She then discribed how she babysat for her Mother's Sister. She slowly developed a relationship with her Aunt's husband. She end up sleeping with him.

She said she enjoyed it. She liked the affair at the time. She even quoted something like 47 times that she had sex with him in his car.

It turns out it was all unprotected. And she fell pregnant.

Her mother was obviously not happy. But she never told her how.

She then LOST the child. At age 16 or so she miscarried. The second she was pregnant the Husband had distanced himself from her.

She never told her mother.

She then became closer to her mother and started going to therapy. Something about how she let people use her and all this. She never described the Psycho-analysis very well. And frankly at the time i didn't have much of a clue either, passed a self-informed guess.

She then confidently came out to her mother that she was A Lesbian. Her mother for once was finally accepting after recent events and she was proud of her daughter.

She met someone and was still in a relationship with her at that time.

For months up untill my Joining college i kept in contact with her. She had become a close re-newed friend and i had very little feelings left for her.

There was a brief bebo comment a short while before my debs and around the time i was starting my first year of college:

hey *insert name here* baby.
sorri i havent bin in contact. a lots bin happenin in mi life hunni. mail me n ill tell ya all da scandalous goings on. like ur in college now? wat u doin? wat college? hope ur gettin it reglar hunni. mail me soon.
Lorr, da weird bitch xoxoxo

What Shocked me about this was that it was the first time her grammar and spelling had degraded to text speek. When we met in a chat room, when we exchanged emails, for the first instance it was all normal words. Even our friendship emails were well worded. The last time's i talked to her however were all like this.

Then in 2nd year of college, the first 2nd year that is. When i was in my relationship with PG i mentioned her to Lore and described out first sexual encounters.

I thought the email or the email after it survived to this day but it doesn't. Which i pretty shocked about, and yet also proud.

Basically i mentioned the first time PG and myself did it. And how i was "in love" with her and so on and that i was finally happy. I was no longer a fridget or a virgin and it had all happened quickly.

Lore responded that she was happy for me. She also told me that sex would get better with time. The first few encounters with PG were perfect for her, but i couldn't get much out of it with a Condom and it took a while to be satisfied etc. I basically had longer staying power and she was hyper sensative leading to multiple orgasms which tired her long before i was ever able to finish.

Lore also said she was happy with her Girlfriend and was now living with her somewhere i Dublin. I never found out where.

I sent another email while still with PG asking more questions about sex and relationships and also as part of Joint curiosity on a part of PG and myself if Lore knew any Girls willing to part take in a threesome at some far off point in the future.  I never heard back from her.

And eventually PG and myself realised we were becoming miserable together. The sex did get better, the relationship got worse, and our last encounter int he bed department was the most reluctant and wasteful experiance we had together.

Lore Cross's my mind from time to time. How can she not. I wonder how she is getting on with her life. If she's still with the same girlfriend etc. Despite limited contact though the years i valued her friendship at times. I would love to have met her in real life. To have her as a friend.

I have always had an affinity for Lesbian's or bisexual girl's. They are basically Guy's when you discuss sex, and because they are girl's it's easier to do so.

This is one thing that i found interesting about Cleo. I could share a lot with her. I share NONE of that with my Male friends. Gammaman, DS and 20Cent know nothing of my exploits, embarrisment's, failure's, strike out's and rejection. But it has always been easier to share such things with girls, Lesbians and bisexual's especially because they are more interested in their sexuality and more willing to share intimate feelings and interests.

PG was NEVER a talker. Despite always talking to her in some form she never discussed her feelings or what was going on her head. I ALWAYS talk about what's going on in my head. And i long for someone while listen and share with me. Someone will discuss everything imaginable with me.

My good old internet friend Rose was like that. And as she got old she also shared explicit stuff back to me in return. However i have lost contact with her and it's a shame. She's somewhere in North Carolina, but i haven't talked to her for a long time. She and I also have a "marraige" pact that if neither of us our settled by 35 that we get together. It's doubtful we'll ever see that through however.

Well there you have it folks. The story of Lore. From my past self. Her very words. And my own retrospect.

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Thursday, August 20, 2009

Snap happy #5

Here is just a quick snap happy post. I also have a rather inspired business idea that i may mention over the weekend....

but for now enjoy the following:

Stormtrooper humour:

Feeding a Mogwai after midnight!

Keep Away!

Animal Testing!

Poisoning Pigeon's in the park!

Bath Time:

A well deserved break from chasing that rebel scum:

1 horse power:


SO CUTE!!!!!!!

And the meme continue's, it's that squirrel again!


And here again, running in an election!

Happy Birthday Phil:

Good Night.

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Being me.

Being me is always wanting more sleep than is humanly possible.

Being me is having something to be grumpy about no matter how i feel.

Being me is never trusting my train of thought from one second to the next.

Being me is knowing my faults and failing to change them or use them to my advantage.

Being me is knowing i have problems but avoiding them because it's easier.

Being me is longing for things i could achieve if only i pit effort in.

Being me is longing to write out my active imagination in several stories.

Being me is talking to yourself when alone.

Being me is acting out the dialogue of unspecified imaginary characters when alone, ad-libbed and just to extend my imagination in a verbal form, for no real reason.

Being me is having a compulsion and need to drink at least 2 litre's of water a day.

Being me is having a mouse and a keyboard within reach for at least a few hours a day.

Being me is trying to read a book but escaping into my own mind instead, dreaming up improvements, dreaming of my own worlds, being distracted by active positive and negative discussion and only realising you are doing this when you reach the bottom of the page and not realising you didn't read any of the words.

Being me is having a arbitrary dream, losely planning it out, but never taking a step towards it.

Being me is having so many ideas, dreams and opinions that i never have the confidence to portray every one of them.

Being me is longing for companionship while also fearing the first stages of meeting new potential partners.

Being me is being around others and hatting myself for never having anything to say.

Being me is being around others and knowing i should say something, be a part of it, but knowing that i cant think of anything. And knowing that being my only thought.

Being me is using bathrooms at least 6 times a day, see water consumption.

Being me is mainly using my mobile phone for checking the time.

Being me is constantly listening to music when alone.

Being me is constantly reading the internet even without a reason.

Being me is all i can ever be.

This post was partially inspired by this .Wear Me Out post

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Dreary Day/Snap Happy #4

So today is yet another snap happy. And damn is this easy.

Okay so i should actively search for my own photos, make my own and so on, but with what i read on a daily basis in google reader i barely even need to find my own things, just share the best blogged image's of the day..... Yeah lazy. But i do have some of my own! So don't blame me.

Today was a wet day rather dreary. Not much rain, but it was grey.

So here's a sign of the times, figuratively and literally:

The Future is also here:

The ULTra system is being unveiled at Heathrow Terminal 5, almost 2 years later than planed.

This personal automated system of pods drives you from the car park to the Terminal. If it proves a success it will be spread to the rest of the airport.

Basically it works by taking the passengers only from their start point to their destination. It will by-pass all the other stops along the way, ie other car parks or terminals, and take you where you need to go.

And it's so cute and stylish!

So is this guy, in a i eat rubbish sort of way:


And look at this lucky fellow, saved from the fast track to the big house in the sky, his missing foot has been replaced with a prosthetic one:

ap_photo_ofelephantwith prostheticleg.jpg

How Quaint!:


Now that's a good design!

My book dilemma:

As i mentioned before i need a bookcase. This being the main problem:

So madly i wondered why when wandering at lunch on monday i went to the secret bookstore.

And there i saw a plethora of second hand books and rarieties, or just not so popular things, and start routing around.

The main book that cought my eye was some comedy-drama roughly titled "How i Payed my way through College/ Perfoming art's school", with a sub-title or tag line about "sex, drugs, identity theft and so on...". And i have to say it looked rather fun, odd ball like and something most likely not well known. And considering my slowly emerging book collection is mainly stuff i've seen or know about in another format this origional find sounded like a good idea.

But in checking the rest of the shelves i found.....

To Kill A Mocking Bird. Cheap to. So i bought that instead. I kind of regret it now.


Well, even if i havent seen most of the movie i know about it, i know how it ends, i know several key plot points. As i do with a lot of my other books. It just makes getting through them so much harder.

I never finished 1984 because i knew what was awaiting him in Room 101. And i didn't want to read it.

So i've decided that i will only buy odd bits from now on, hopefully that book.

And despite currently reading, Dead Untill Dark, Choke, Rule's of Attraction, 1984, and Red Mars(going on 6 years) i will switch to something i don't know about, but know i should read.

On The Road by Jack Kerouac. Its a clichéd book. Its uber famous. Its a 20th century popular cultural icon. Its fodder for academics and snobby people who read more than they absorb or understand. But it's something i know i should read not just because of it's cultural importance and popularity, but also because i want to travel.

I've heard it's difficult to read. But frankly i don't care. I got through a good chunk of Hunter S. Thompsons personal corrispondances without TOO much difficulty, this can't be hard, right??

I'll keep you posted.

As for The secret book store:

Any store with Calvin & Harris in it's entrance way get's my vote!:

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Monday, August 17, 2009

Oh... Really, i didn't know, news to me.

In a random comment, somewhere in one of the blogs i follow i was advised to "drop" the use of Social Dullard as a screen name, as it apparently "doesn't do me any favors"

I have always liked Social Dullard as a screen name.

It's not true. I am not as socially inept as i may claim to be but as a basis of the very idea of discussing my social life, and the periods and gaps where there was none i find that Social Dullard fits.

It's an addy/screen name/online identity that i have come to accept over the years.

After all there is a minor semblance of anonymity to this blog. If everyone else contained has a nickname, then why shouldn't I?

Even if this is fed into my facebook it is still ambiguous to an extent as to who is contained, or exactly who is who. The issue doesn't arise that frequently that people mentioned have any consequence on those who find it upon themselves to read my little musings but it's still something i'd like to keep. And the same also goes for my name. It's obviously known to my friends, and to my followers to some extent. But the casual reader will only see the screen name. Does it need to change?

Should i keep the screen name or should i change it. If i were to change it what would be more fitting?

Am i over reacting because i want to write something? Or just jerking off...
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Snap Happy #3 Less is quite rightly just less.

I didn't find too many pictures today.

Infact it would almost be stealing if i showed some of the better one's so i'll just show you a few choice favourites, and from what i can tell about how this works clicking on the picture may take you to their source, but don't hold me to that....

A Swan and It's uggly duckling:

Appropriate for coffee lovers, which i am not one:

Apparently this is how they made all those rings for sonic the hedgehog:


I had a post planned, but for now i'll leave you with what is now an easy and daily feature of my blogging.

As the sign say's at the bottom, this was brought to you by Flock's Blogging feature. I will review Flock in an improved and fully complete version of the "lost post" from a few weeks back. It's still missing but i've tried out a lot more toys since then so it needs an update.
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Sunday, August 16, 2009

Where are we now?: A big Rant.

So its 40 years since Woodstock and 40 years since the moon landing. What exactly happened when the 60's ended?

How is that we have come to the way things are now. Back then there was a threat of Mutually Assured Distraction and young men were dying in Vietnam. Here in Ireland we were still destitute and VERY catholic.

And then at some point in the 70's and 80's Entrepreneurs, yuppies and other opportunistic people changed the world. Under the hyped oppression of Reagan and Thatcher, probably not all that bad, we some how lost morality and instead started making money. Its the making of money that really changed how things run.

One thing i could never get my head around when reading 1984 is that it was dated. Sure Surveillance and Socialist Dictatorships and constant war are still believable but the lack of consumer goods and sheepish devotion to brand names such as iApple and so on is just impossible to imagine.

Could a world exist without iPods, mobile phones, soft drinks and bottled water? News at you finger tips, celebrity gossip and scandal a few clicks away?

If anything the world has changed for the worse. Its more subversive and far more worrying. After all i have to admit that i am a sheep to the Internets wiles. I can't help but click click click. I don't need to know any of these things but i click anyway. I am slowly learning who the talentless gobshites are, or at least why they're always in the gossip columns, and to me that's scary.

Woodstock, a legend a dream:

40 years ago in the spirit of free will, music and taking copious amounts of drugs a group of people organised a concert.

It was a logistical nightmare and situated in a state park near Woodstock, but closer to other small sleepy towns and far from a good highway.

After a few days they realised it was pointless to keep the fences up, to many people wanted to be there. So they opened it all up.

They ran out of food. The toilets over flowed. The music kept on playing and a state of emergency was declared.

The emergency services couldn't get there by road because of all the traffic blocking it for hundred of miles.

Food was airlifted in, and sick, heat stroked, dehydrated, and the tripped out were lifted out.

It eventually ended. A legend had occurred. The clean up would take weeks. An industrial level of clearing needed to remove the rubbish.

Never again was a concert so large and so influential.

As for my youthful interpretation of the whole occurrence all i had was this when i was growing up, followed by waynes world 2:

This is better:

Who's On stage?

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The Moon Landing:

A dream that by the time the decade was out Man would set foot on the moon.

Not because it was easy, but because it was hard.

What ever happened to that kind of determination?

Man walked on the moon. They went a few times and then had to give up, one rocket still waiting to go.

Instead they stayed in orbit of earth for 30 years with shuttles while probes did all the work for us.

We never made that bold leap again. Expense they say, but the adventure was gone.

We could have made it to Mars by now. We could have a base on the moon.

We "could" in theory be shipping back Helium 3 for clean efficient energy.

Instead we buy consumer goods smarter than all the machines that landed men on the moon.

An average watch has more computing power than the Eagle Lander.

And yet with all our advance's in the name of a cold war and then Capitalism we have made no further strides into space.

It's a real shame.

When it all come's crashing down:

How long can we keep this all up.

I'm no green hippie or any of that but it worries me how we can ever keep going the way we do.

Our main geological contribution to history is Ring Pulls and Bottle Caps.

The industrial age left behind Clay pipes, the Romans Coins.

Can we leave Virtual Credit behind? Can we leave behind foreclosed homes, Obsolescent iPods, Cheap cars we never truly own, Plasma screen tv's, vhs, dvds, blu-ray or even the Internet.

The boom years melted away when the banks ran out of steam and their insane 100% loans got too much for them and became worthless.

Instead of spending millions on weapons to kill our enemies we spent millions of our own money on things we didnt need.

We live in order to feel safe and secure. To have a roof over our heads, food in our stomach and our kids in good health and education.

We spend our wealth to make ourselves happier when all we need are the basics. And yet we've wanted more for as long as i've been alive and possibly longer.

Our over consumption of the what the world has to offer may or may not contribute to climate change. It sure as hell has contributed to the 2 other large problems we face.

The Global financial crisis is based off of our own greed and gluttony.

The swine flu pandemic is also a result of the same thing. People wanted Pork. So it was mass produced in a factory in Mexico. It was so mass produced that standards of hygiene and safety were poor. The pigs only cared for so they could get fat quick, not live healthy. Disease spread and mutated. A new Swine Flu Strain developed. It reached the poor unhealthy Mexican workers and spread like wild fire in a rural town. It then spread to the rest of Mexico thanks to migrant workers, refugee's and pilgrims for religious festivals. It also reached tourists and then the rest of the world.

It continues to spread and incapacitate thousands and thankfully is not worse, but it still kills.

Our own wanton demand for things we didn't need has caused our own slow downfall. The world will be stagnant and devided for years untill this mess is fixed.

People are profiting from the very demise they created and we can do little to stop them. They claim some countries are "growing" again, that profit is up. But this is just to boost shares. To make money as we slowly pick ourselves up again.

It's the rest of us that suffer. And whats truly sickening is that as we hold onto our wallets and refrain from buying useless goods the worlds other problems persist unhindered.

Poverty will only continue and spread.

Drug trade will only continue and spread.

Weapons trade will only continue and spread.

Climate change will happen no matter what we do.

Desertification will continue because the rest of the world demands cheaper goods from climate and countries that can't supply us forever.

There aren't many solutions but expecting a status quo or equality is laughable. We all we always be exploited or the person perpetuating the injustice.

Capitalism, what's the worst that can happen.


During the week, the day of leaving cert. results, i was walking to the station from the library to get the train home.

While walking along the path beside the cricket pitch i was stopped for a young girl seemingly lost.

She asked me "Is there a church on Campus."

Flummoxed by the question, and wondering why but not feeling too prejudice i said:

"Yeah sure, it's probably not open, it doesn't hold to many services as far as i'm aware"

She said: "But can you go into it, like, and..."

The sentance was something along those lines but wasn't really finished. I guessed she was trying to say something along the lines of sit in the pews and pray, or talk with the priest or whoever etc.

"i said yeah sure."

And then looking behind me gestured that it beyond the library was Fellows square and then the church is on the right in Front square, "the one with the cobble's".

She thanked me and left it at that.

Now she was cute. She was also full of excitement and glee in her appearance. So i'm guessing she received her results that day, and was checking out her most hopeful perspective campus that she must have known she had a good chance of attending since she took the time to visit.

Now i was early for my train. I could have described what i knew about the college and campus, and mentioned that if she wanted "spiritual" guidance or religious folk to talk to to attend the Chaplaincy office, because even years on from my guided tour i remembered vaguely where it was situated.

But i left it at that. After all i was unsure as to what faith she was. By the apparent urge to know where the church was i had no idea what she could have been other than some form of Christian. Not exactly a Protestant or Catholic thing to request. After all protestants, here in the south especially wouldn't need such a clarification and would find a local church, and a devote catholic, rare at that, would have there own Church or strive to find one within their local area and would not rely on the more Multi-denominational nature of a college, even an Ex-Prod one like Trinity.

I'm an agnostic as it is. So her desire for a church on campus was alien to me to say the least. I have no belief structure and i am predominantly a man of science. However i hold a small candle to the notion that there could be a higher power or greater meaning to the universe, i just don't think i need to know what it is or worship it in any way.

I get my "spiritual" experience's from music, the odd sport, concerts and movies and tv. I worship entertainment and popular culture because it gives me a shared understanding of the world through story telling and set structures. Most religions are based around this. Christianity especially is based on the intertwining stories and 4 gospels that describe god's works and his son's actions in his first few years and last few years.

After all popular culture, films, books and plays especially are all very Greek. They're all based around the idea of 3 acts, protagonists, antagonists and so on and very rarely stray from such structure. It's an ancient and well tested format that no one really argues with. It is after all more at least 3,000 years old if not older.

Story telling is what make's us human after all. It was at the camp fire that language and story telling was born. In that communal setting early man shared with his tribe the stories of the beasts they tracked, the bushes they picked and the great sights and stories they had seen and heard. It spread at that time to everyone. It pre-dates Sun worship, stone tools, settlement, farming and the taming of animals. Stories make us human.

Maybe Neanderthal's didn't have stories? But back on track.

Despite how cute she was, despite her giddiness and excitement over her success, i let it be. I could have chatted to her further. I could have been a welcoming guide. I could have even shared my views on spirituality if not concrete, but still interesting. But i walked on, left with a slight glow of happiness after seeing someone else happy.

And left wondering "what if?"

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Snap Happy #2

This may become a daily thing...

Possibly not. But i would like to show you the muffin that gave me this headache!:

Sorry for the poor quality, my phone only works well in the light and with a steady hand. It's a toffee muffin and it was godly!

Ralph and Rosie wanted some!:

But they couldn't have any.

What we're all thinking:

Obama's only got 50% Approval ratting and everyone mis-underestimate's him and thinks that his medical insurance for all is actually "sociali(z)ed health care".


A Beautiful Tool Chest for Piano Tuning, just look at the detail, the care, the style, the love!:


Reason #1 why mural's rule:

mural paintings

Is it a bike or an instrument?:


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