Sunday, November 22, 2009

Moving over to another blog...

Yep. My life and it's inner workings is now on the sister blog, Reticulating Splines.


This new blog will chronicle my time down under whilst THIS here blog will remain quiet for around 9-10 months.


So if you're a reader of ME, then head on over to the new blog to catch up on what i am doing in the world.


Read about the hot weather. The freak weather. The odd accents. The job situation. The People. The food. The overall strangeness of this place. And of course a new emerging social life, and my sisters new family/ my family in law.


See you soon. Over on Reticulating Splines.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Use Toaster, Make Toast. Use Toaster, turn off all plugs...

...and face my Sisters wrath!


A bit of a back story here first.


Yesterday a friend of my sisters from Edinburgh arrived to stay with us.


I was my sisters navigator to take her all the way to Dublin airport and to navigate it's mess of construction and so on.



When we arrived we were about 30 minutes early, however this was not the case. The flight was delayed.

So my sister went for a smokey beverage, i read a free indo that was sitting in the waiting area, did some people watching and then nosed about in a small branch of Hogis Figgus in the arrival's hall.

I joined my sister for what was at least a 3rd smoke and we looked up at the grey mass of Dublin airport.

It actually has a nice airy promenade feel to it from this angle. Buses and taxi's behind us and smokers on both levels looking out under gloomy skies and brutal concrete.

We went in again to wait and finally her friend arrived.

I had spend all of a day with her During my sisters graduation 2 years ago so i couldn't truely remember what she looked like.


But long story short she's older than my sister, a lesbian and a trained chef/culinary degree etc from Aderdeen who lives in Edinburgh and is now working as a Receptionist in a Brothel. Don't you just love it when facts pile up to make a character truely unique, or at least book worthy?


Anyhoo. She and the sister were on the razz last night, and my sister ended up conking out on the couch and didn't make much sense when we tried to wake her. Ah like working with demented patients again, but also for free, and at home, how quaint...

But back to the start of this post, as in the title...

In their hanging state my sister and her friend didn't make breakfast, and my mom rushed out to go see a freind.

I was famished. So i gave up on my laptop time and went to make breakfast.

All the rashers and all the sausages, 2 different smokey rashers, 2 of each, 5 sauseges and 4 eggs.

All the Pork meat on a pizza tray with tinfoil and then into the AGA. A small frying pan on the electric stove with olive oil to warm up.

Toast in the toaster.

2 eggs fried.

Collect toast, set table, condiments, ketchup and butter and what i thought was butter but was actually some garlic mayo left over from the baked potatoes we had with Cream Lasagne last night.

Last 2 eggs then Toast again.

A few seconds into the 3rd round of toast.

Puh-chewwwww.

The plugs die.

Screams from my sister.


Sister:"WHAT THE FUCK's WRONG WITH THIS TELLY!"

Me:"Eh, i think it's the toaster!"

Sister: "Why doesn't this fuckin' telly work, what the fuck's wrong with it? Ma is that Pa on the phone, let me talk to him, the fuckin telly just went blank."

Me, jugling re-toasting toast on the aga and 2 friend eggs and meat about to burn:

" It was the Toaster, again, there's a switch we have to flip or something?"

"Yeah, Pa? The bloody telly won't work anymore. It just went blank. Whats with this stupid eco-freindly switch thing. No it's stupid. It won't turn on. I was watching it, and it just went blank. Yeah i tried that. No it's not working. _______'s Saying something about the toaster, and a fuse. No it couldn't be a fuse, it just like turned off and the telly in the kitchen's working, and sowz the phone..."

Me: "All the plugs blew, it happened the other day, it was the toaster!"

Sister: "Yeah alright bye, love you to, see you later. It's not working? Stupid telly."

Me: Right, plate up will ya, i'll see if this works. Does that work? How about now? Now? Now? Eh... how about now, how about if i just, and now? No? Really? Okay i don't know..."


The sisters plated up and is still fuming. The friend is quietly laughing and starts to sit down to eat.


My sisters goes to turn on the kettle.

"THIS FUCKIN KETTLE'S NOT BLOODY WORKIN'!!"

"All the plugs are out. It happened before, just plug it into the one the Telly (in the kitchen, which was still working) is in. No not that one, that one!"

Sister: "This is stupid whats wrong with it?"


Me: It happened before, it was the toaster. (in reference to saturday night and before). It's the reason we haven't had a toaster in years, not until recently. You know, you were here a few years ago, we made some toast, the lights went off, we were worried about the fridge cause Mom and Dad were up north or something and wouldn't be home in 6 or or something. It was the toaster, thats why we haven't had one till recently. No it's a new one.

Sisters friend: "You have to worst luck with toasters!"

Me: "Yeah, pretty much."


Sister: "I don't remember that. It's stupid. So it's the toaster? Well don't use the toaster again, it's all your fault."

Me: Silence.



The sister phoned Dad again walked into the fuse closet in the pantry and got it all working again.


Thanks for the Breakfast then flowed in and no one mentioned how i was saying the right thing, the whole time... I just didn't know how to fix it. Yeah it sounds petty, but i was starving. I made the breakfast because i had to! And then in making it i used the toaster 3 times and on the 3rd the fuse's conked out for some bizzare reason...

It was my fault, but only because i was saving time by making toast a slower way with a specially designed Toast maker.

Sure the AGA is faster, Hotter, and Closer to where i was cooking, but it burns more easily and is hard to get right.

3 1/2 minutes on a toaster is so exact and golden and gorgeous. Can you forgive me universe and ESB for just wanting GOOD TOAST!!!!

Adventure's at home with the family...

Things are all quiet here at home. Well i say quiet, i really mean chaotic but homely. The past few days feel more like a week or longer.

It's not a bad thing, but it's confusing.


My sister is home and she's already settled in.

There's Diet coke can's everywhere. Wine bottle's empty quickly. A supply of beer only lasted a day. And the dishwasher fill's far faster. But that could be to do with the group of friends she had up, but still, that's a fuck load of washing!



What to write, oh what to write:

I tried to start writing yet another one of my story idea's. After a few minute's screaming at the Font feature's on Google Doc's i finally started tapping some words out. But they just pissed me off.

All show, and no tell. If anything it was Masterbatory. All look at me i have this universe and idea's and i can shove these layered characters in off the top of my head as i write, aren't i great, isn't this all sounding so cool, aren't i just the best. Eh no, not really.

I should be telling a story. I have yet to find that story. I do have a universe, a premise, characters i centre it all on and problems and dilema's and settings and so on. But a narritive.... Not yet.

I have no start, no catalysts, nothing at all yet. I really just hated what i started.

It was a list of the family involved and the setting. Not a story in sight. Great writing that.


Oh by the way, the quote "All art is Mastabatory" is possibly the best line i've read all year. It's from "How i payed for College by Marc Acito and i have to say i love that book.

And the fact i read it just before Glee started make's it even better in my eyes.


They say Write what you know, and about what you love. Most of my idea's so far are sci-fi or there abouts.


Well what i know is my life. Hence the blogging, obviously. But what i love to read is Diary type comedy-drama books!

Or at least it's all i have read in any great depth.

Andrian Mole

Ross O'Carol Kelly

and to some extent How i Payed for College.


All comdey-drama's and so on. And i love them. They're a type of book i love. And why i have yet to come up with a story, other than my own life, for such a book myself escapes me.

I've imagined tv-shows based on my high school life or college life all as sample's of Irish culture or of the Male psyche/ mental health. But i have yet to do anything about that. Maybe i should.

Why write about Pirates and keeping a secret for the greater good, or a kid whose imagination creates real worlds to help deal with his own, when i can Write about MEEEEEEE!!!



Hmm, i'll try that some time maybe?





Friendships and the long goodbye.


So i'm going to Australia.

I leave on the 20th.


My going away party is this friday, yes the 13th, but i don't think that's a bad thing.


I considered weighing it up and organising and other things.

But instead i said fuck it and sent out a Facebook evite to all my friends and other such people and did it anyway.

So i'll see them all on Friday and say good bye.

I may also hold a smaller doo here at home on Saturday. My mother kept mentioning it, but the logistics are confusing! And i seem to avoid it like most things at the moment.


I have several emails i should be writing to my friends. I should be sending more texts and so on.

In the case of PG texts don't seem to reach her. A technical glitch i can't figure out and she rarely has the time to discuss. I am glad we're not talking as much as we used to. But when i want to reach her and all i have is Facebook, which she only pops into now and then and never chat's extensively, it just gets annoying and off putting that i don't even bother remembering what i want to say and give up.


I have to say that i really do think i am a right shiteous friend some times. And being stuck at home isn't exactly helping either.



I should go to sleep now. I have shit i should be doing. And now i've added the fact that i want to do one or two more debates to my growing list of tasks. Go me...

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Eager to write, but not much to say...

Uggghh i hate this feeling. I'm in a sort of zone here. I keep wanting to say stuff, status updates, comments, texts and tweets. But i'm not actually having conversations. I'm not actually doing anything!


I'm sitting on a plush couch. I've got newsnight on. Some conservative shite, then something else, now Al Gore on a satalite feed.


Yoono is open to the left of my I-bar and i am watching Twitter and Facebook as the evening where's on.

On my phone i have texts message's slowly trickling in organising my day tomorrow which is now almost fully organised.

I am going to the Cinema with DS, then meeting up With Gammaman with DS, for a catch up or some food. Then going to A Hamas Debate in the Society. Then heading home on a late bus to be able to up in time for last minute cleaning, to welcome my sister home.


PG's sick and thus not free for lunch. Budsey has yet to answer.  So i don't know what time i'll head into town yet, as i have no Lunch appointment, yet. I have an open invitation to all my friends on Facebook, but i doubt many will bite.

Social networking? What Social networking?

Does anyone really do that?


After all, few of my friends are as techno-dependent or savvy as myself. I love the idea of Tweeting and the impending possibilities related to Geo-location status updates and augmented reality. Everyone else is more worried about when they can have lunch or fit study in.


I guess when you spend as much time as me on the web, the possibilities of new technologies seem all so great. And yet no one i actually know use's current one's. If they do, they do it on an as needed basis, or when it suits them. Some people still have, "out of date", mobiles. Nokia 3210's and so on.

Others have gotten a new one every year, or even more frequently. Most have iPods and so on, and some even have Laptops, Netbooks or the alien white of Apple's. But this is all for practicle use. Study, work, some recreation and procrastination.

But using social media, to actually socialise. No not yet. For the moment most of my friends seperate reality and social network socailising. Sure status updates and internet meme's cross over into everyday life as source's of information. But they rarely use them as tools for social, activity or change.

Sure Facebook event's are used. Sure Youtube perpetuate's meme's. Sure online article's and blogs are shared information. But very few actually use them.

Very few even update their status, or comment extensively.

Even chat's with relative stranger's are hard to translate into the real world. People react differently to you as a real person compared to your name and display photo.

So why do i love the idea of Augmented Reality and Geo-location? Is it because i'm a geek, or is it because i finally relish the idea that my idea of communicating with the world is becoming more accessable with the real world?


A lot of people HATE iPhone Users. Hell commuters hate those who listen to music, or those still using Broadsheets or reading Chic-Lit. How will they feel when you snap picture's of the world around you to access more information.

To Find out a resturant's review. If your friends want to meet you there, or have been there before. If there's a news story or history to a place. If there are photo's from a venue publically available, or if a product or album is reviewed or previewable on the mobile web.

That's what Augmented reality will do. You walk around the normal world, but can access ALL the information of the web, via applications on your mobile device. Layers of information right there infront of you, and you won't have to be at a computer.

Imagine how this will drag the geeks out into the open. Or make life easier.

Now if only my friends loved techy toys as much as i do.


Hmm, maybe i should write some in-depth email's to my friends. Pass more time.

Oh yeah, i have to organise my own going away party to, forgot about that...

1 Year on, 17 Days till Australia...

That's right people, this blog is a year old, sort of. And in 19 days i am jetting off to Melbourne with my sister.


At this time last year i was elated, but still licking my wounds. The Cork IV was a great fun  time. I had a new peer group, i enjoyed what i did despite being bloody awful, 2nd worst speaker in the competition, and not too phased about it. But i had failed to be successful with Hope and i was still alone. I walked extensively in that strange city with a 3 liter bottle of coke under my arm and didn't look back. That one night i was at risk but also terrified. But i stuck to my guns, didn't listen to myself and came out on the other side with an elated feeling for a couple of days. And i Started this blog.

I have chronicled the past year once or twice already this past year. The specific post is proving elusive to find, but it's buried in there somewhere. Note to Self, re-name, and edit older posts!



I don't regret the past year. I love my new friends, even if i could be closer, or know people who suit me better. I admire this peer group. I even envy them. I may never exactly be one of them but i don't have to be.


When it comes to debating, it's a spectator sport as far as i'm concerned. I enjoy watching arguments better than giving them. I enjoy picking them apart, or oooh-ing and ah-ing and generally being in Awe of other people's vocal dexterity and mental prowess.

I was far to rusty and far to nervous to be anywhere near as confident or talented as other speakers.

I was there merely for the craic, and to support Ming. And for the most part i felt i did that. However he out shun me by a mile.

I was thinking of chronicling my weeked at the UCD IV with the Society and Ming as my partner in-depth, and over at least 3 parts with this being a 4th post.


But frankly despite the depths of detail and analysis i could give to it. I doubt i could give any of it justice. Because i am not sure yet what any of it means. Or what it means to me.



On Friday myself and Ming did perfectly average in our debates. Then Following that, on our way home he was faced with a rather difficult matter relating to his GF. And his mood completely changed. I offered all the support i could, but it didn't make much of a difference so i backed off.

His sofa bed also left me unable to sleep. I toyed with my phone, frustrated i tossed about and listened to my iPod. It was at least 3 by the time i got to sleep.


When we got up the next morning we were straight out the door. We walked and talked and that walk and talk was all the way from Smithfield to Nassau Street. We almost beat the Luas to O'Connel Street, but that would negate the idea of zone 1 travel, now wouldn't it...

At Nassua street we bumped into Malcovich and an old Other Society member who sort of "retired" last year, who i'll call Ted.

We arrived very early and there was little to do. But eventually we got back down to debating.

In between the 3rd and 4th round i chatted with a girl from DCU and i have say there was a small sense of 
Mamihlapinatapai between us. For those who don't know what that word means, it is the world's most Succinct word. It means, "a look shared by two people with each wishing that the other will initiate something that both desire but which neither one wants to start." Or at least some kind of friendly interest from a stranger who would like to know more. Although sadly it never happened, i'll return this later.

Ming and myself did well on an arts round but it went down hill from that. The true failing of our "Parternity leave" motion was when Ming sat down after his speech and simply said, "Cluster Fuck".

And i tried to cover it but it was such shite and i had so little i gave up at about 4 minutes into the speech.

The 5th round was no better. My mind collapsed and i couldn't comprehend the motion.

"That this house believes in a right NOT to be offended".

We correctly argued that this would get nothing done, and so on. And i did understand that the prop were suggesting some kind of "though police" or so on. But most of the right answers only came to me later on. I gave only about 40 seconds of words explaining how i hadn't a feckin' word in my head.

So it was then the semi-final and final's and so on.

2 Society teams and 1 other society team broke. As in qualified for the semi-final. This was great.

After the semi-final there was food, and then free drink.

People changed into their Halloween costume, the Americans dressing the most revealing. Shocking levels of skin available. Like, only buyable in an adult store costumes. I guess it's the cultural difference of the irish dressing like that on the weekend anyway, just not as revealing. Shocking really, it's halloween, not a porn set.

We watched a bit of X-factor and the girl i had a moment with came over to me again. But she recieved a phone call from her sister.

The Final was brilliant and we from TCD had great fun. The Society were all together but most of the Others had spread out elsewhere. This added to our chants of T-C-D, Trin-ity and so on. As opposed to UCD, Kings Inn/ O-A-P and strangely U-C-G for NUI Galway's team. Can't even name their own college!

Then we had to wait for the result.

I floated around different groups. I couldn't quite "call" the result. When out in the main area i went to the bathroom.

Some how most guys were going at once and there was a large enough queue. The floor was also slightly flooded.

In the sink was a man in a Toga....

I escaped the flood with my balance and dignity intact and floated between groups again.

Then i ran into that girl again and this time was able to talk to her. Someone else who was standing with me walked away and i was left talking to her. However i fluffed it. Instead i started discussing the course's available in DCU in-depth. It felt like such a face palm moment. She said she was getting a lift from her sister and would be gone soon.

I felt upset by this and grabbed a couple of cans. At the same time i was discussing by text with my dad what time i would get the bus home. But instead i just thought i would stay out now. Enjoy the evening. I cheered and roared at all the congratulations, awards and thanks over the course of the IV. I then noticed that the girl in question had returned again.

I was pretty nervous but was now diving straight in to just enjoying myself.

Then the Result. We WON!!! WE WON!!! The Society WON!!! We had 2 teams in the finale, 1 at each end of the table, and 2nd Prop, Joker and Pippa won! The other team was Jayne and Nescafé. Basically all of our best speakers.


I also saw Ming and I's results. He was mile's ahead of me, even beating Letch in "speaks". But i didn't care.

I was more interested in reviling in the collective joy of the society, getting to Joker and Pippa and congratulating them and maybe, just maybe, catching that girl before she left.

And after a lot of nervous crowd floating and collecting and protecting of my belongings i finally got her alone. And asked for her number.

My exact words were something along the line of :
"I may not know much about DCU, but would it be alright if i got your number?"

She entered her number, fiddled around trying to select the field for name entering and then handed me back my phone.

I said thank you and felt proud of myself. Not quite the grabbing a spoon moment that i attribute to Daisy, but a minor league success either way. I didn't think i'd see her again that evening, and since i couldn't remember her name it would take a while to find it in my phone book. Not because i'm popular, but because all my Facebook and MSN friends are also on it, a lot of strangers!


Then we got the buses in. I was sitting beside Egyptian Paul and he discussed an Irish poem that had to be Sung with Ming, a newbie and Letch.

Boop, Jayne, Malkovich and Goldylocks and Nescafé were on the other side.

There were a few good laugh's including Goldylocks leading a half arsed rendition of Build Me Up Buttercup.

Then the pub. A long night. Many a different occurance. A stranger from some other college latched onto me and the group of Other society people i had been around with Ming, before he left. He had been a bit odd after the art Round earlier that day and strangely was still around, wearing a T-Shirt hell t-shirt with the famous Evoloution Progress of man line up, but with the man complaining "stop following me". There was something about the guy that was just freaking me out.

At one point the group of American's spilled inside our dancing circle and were giving it loads. It led to several worried, disapproving, and commic looks from all of us trying to avoid there brand of Dirty dancing and over-zealous smuttiness. I didn't disapprove, but i didn't think it was at all necessary.

I then noticed that the girl who's number i had gotten was now in the club. How odd, maybe i had another chance.


This however never happened. In-fact, Sherminator got there before me. And i won't go into detail but they either knew each other already or he was rather succesful at wooing her. Out of the corner of my eye this was slightly upsetting but i just kept on dancing and so on. I didn't even know the 2 girls i was with, or the assorted people from the "Other" society but i didn't mind.

At one point we migratted over to what was left of the Societies people and out of the corner of my eye i realised something i had never noticed before. Goldylocks and Nescafé are a couple. Fair fucks to them. It does mean however that Trinities top 2 societies buck the national trends of sexual orientation statistics!

According to a survey i read while in the STI clinic on placement last year, 4.8 % of Women in Ireland are Lesbians. And surprisingly 2.6% of men open gay men, with a far larger margin of doubt compared to women who "experimented" or claim to be bisexual. It really did show a lot about Irish Society, or at least the sample groups the HSE covered and then rounded up to the entire population of ireland....

The Society, and the Others, in no way reflect those numbers. Hell the Society is probably 30% lesbian, and probably 38% Gay like Kinsey's studdies found about men in the 50s.

But anyway i didn't mind. Hell i didn't even think about those 2 as straight options as it was, so it was even less likely that their orientation would lead to any lewd thoughts or change in opinion about them as people.


The night wore on until closing and then the groups split. Non of my friends were left and i didn't want to impose myself on those where were left as i didnt know them to well.

I was hungry, and had some drink over the course of the night but i just walked all the way to where i would stay. The 24 Hour internet café on Talbot Street around the corner from Busaras.

I walked all the way from Parliment Street in Temple bar to Talbot street, in scrubs, in the rain, with my 2 bags.

The armys upon armies of Undead, Sluty people, beggars, puking people, fighting couple's and comatose was shocking. I had never seen so many out at once. Or indeed walked such a distance on a night that would be this busy.

I ruled out any eatery, on my own. It was far to crowded.

The internet Café was fine.

I over slept the next day. Not good. Didn't fully recover till Monday.











Now what's next.

A movie with DS before he leave's on Sunday. (Either Tomorrow or on thursday)

Lunch with Budsey and PG. Possibly on wednesday?

My sisters return on Thursday afternoon.

And then my Good bye party.

I hope to find a day that suits both Old Nursing friends, old school friends still around, at at the most part all my Society Friends. DS will probably miss it, and thus if i don't go to the cinema i'll miss him, as i'm not home till next Autumn.

I would like it if my friends were actually the one's organising it. But they're all busy. I'm at home all day. I will be doing it. I just seems slightly pathetic that i have to ask people to say goodbye to me. Instead of the other way round.

My parents have also suggested allowing friends up here to this house as well. So who knows what i'll do.

Maybe a pub/and or diner thing as well as a more close friend thing here at home.

I also want to have one last debate in the Chamber, the wednesday before i go.


Who know's. I will plan, delegate, and arrange this all tonight, and over the next few days.

Until next time.