Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Use Toaster, Make Toast. Use Toaster, turn off all plugs...

...and face my Sisters wrath!


A bit of a back story here first.


Yesterday a friend of my sisters from Edinburgh arrived to stay with us.


I was my sisters navigator to take her all the way to Dublin airport and to navigate it's mess of construction and so on.



When we arrived we were about 30 minutes early, however this was not the case. The flight was delayed.

So my sister went for a smokey beverage, i read a free indo that was sitting in the waiting area, did some people watching and then nosed about in a small branch of Hogis Figgus in the arrival's hall.

I joined my sister for what was at least a 3rd smoke and we looked up at the grey mass of Dublin airport.

It actually has a nice airy promenade feel to it from this angle. Buses and taxi's behind us and smokers on both levels looking out under gloomy skies and brutal concrete.

We went in again to wait and finally her friend arrived.

I had spend all of a day with her During my sisters graduation 2 years ago so i couldn't truely remember what she looked like.


But long story short she's older than my sister, a lesbian and a trained chef/culinary degree etc from Aderdeen who lives in Edinburgh and is now working as a Receptionist in a Brothel. Don't you just love it when facts pile up to make a character truely unique, or at least book worthy?


Anyhoo. She and the sister were on the razz last night, and my sister ended up conking out on the couch and didn't make much sense when we tried to wake her. Ah like working with demented patients again, but also for free, and at home, how quaint...

But back to the start of this post, as in the title...

In their hanging state my sister and her friend didn't make breakfast, and my mom rushed out to go see a freind.

I was famished. So i gave up on my laptop time and went to make breakfast.

All the rashers and all the sausages, 2 different smokey rashers, 2 of each, 5 sauseges and 4 eggs.

All the Pork meat on a pizza tray with tinfoil and then into the AGA. A small frying pan on the electric stove with olive oil to warm up.

Toast in the toaster.

2 eggs fried.

Collect toast, set table, condiments, ketchup and butter and what i thought was butter but was actually some garlic mayo left over from the baked potatoes we had with Cream Lasagne last night.

Last 2 eggs then Toast again.

A few seconds into the 3rd round of toast.

Puh-chewwwww.

The plugs die.

Screams from my sister.


Sister:"WHAT THE FUCK's WRONG WITH THIS TELLY!"

Me:"Eh, i think it's the toaster!"

Sister: "Why doesn't this fuckin' telly work, what the fuck's wrong with it? Ma is that Pa on the phone, let me talk to him, the fuckin telly just went blank."

Me, jugling re-toasting toast on the aga and 2 friend eggs and meat about to burn:

" It was the Toaster, again, there's a switch we have to flip or something?"

"Yeah, Pa? The bloody telly won't work anymore. It just went blank. Whats with this stupid eco-freindly switch thing. No it's stupid. It won't turn on. I was watching it, and it just went blank. Yeah i tried that. No it's not working. _______'s Saying something about the toaster, and a fuse. No it couldn't be a fuse, it just like turned off and the telly in the kitchen's working, and sowz the phone..."

Me: "All the plugs blew, it happened the other day, it was the toaster!"

Sister: "Yeah alright bye, love you to, see you later. It's not working? Stupid telly."

Me: Right, plate up will ya, i'll see if this works. Does that work? How about now? Now? Now? Eh... how about now, how about if i just, and now? No? Really? Okay i don't know..."


The sisters plated up and is still fuming. The friend is quietly laughing and starts to sit down to eat.


My sisters goes to turn on the kettle.

"THIS FUCKIN KETTLE'S NOT BLOODY WORKIN'!!"

"All the plugs are out. It happened before, just plug it into the one the Telly (in the kitchen, which was still working) is in. No not that one, that one!"

Sister: "This is stupid whats wrong with it?"


Me: It happened before, it was the toaster. (in reference to saturday night and before). It's the reason we haven't had a toaster in years, not until recently. You know, you were here a few years ago, we made some toast, the lights went off, we were worried about the fridge cause Mom and Dad were up north or something and wouldn't be home in 6 or or something. It was the toaster, thats why we haven't had one till recently. No it's a new one.

Sisters friend: "You have to worst luck with toasters!"

Me: "Yeah, pretty much."


Sister: "I don't remember that. It's stupid. So it's the toaster? Well don't use the toaster again, it's all your fault."

Me: Silence.



The sister phoned Dad again walked into the fuse closet in the pantry and got it all working again.


Thanks for the Breakfast then flowed in and no one mentioned how i was saying the right thing, the whole time... I just didn't know how to fix it. Yeah it sounds petty, but i was starving. I made the breakfast because i had to! And then in making it i used the toaster 3 times and on the 3rd the fuse's conked out for some bizzare reason...

It was my fault, but only because i was saving time by making toast a slower way with a specially designed Toast maker.

Sure the AGA is faster, Hotter, and Closer to where i was cooking, but it burns more easily and is hard to get right.

3 1/2 minutes on a toaster is so exact and golden and gorgeous. Can you forgive me universe and ESB for just wanting GOOD TOAST!!!!

No comments: