Slush, cold, exam's and whine's.

Ah Exam week is apon me. And frankly, despite a lack of work i'm feeling less worried than i though i'd feel. I think i've tackled my 2 exams so far as well as i could and hope they are enough. One more to go but it's fully mcq so if i can't logically pick the right things i prove that im a fucking idiot. And those opertunities sometimes are one's you'd like to avoid but you usually can't. But hey fuck it. If i pass this year, i might not even have to finish the course, i could switch. DANCE'S!!! But would most likely have to pay for it's last year... Why do that when 5 years of a 4 year course with the 4th year course being payed is just a good, and it's a stable job. Who's study is making me depressed and the level of altruism pisses me off as i get fuck all back!

Anyway, other matters. Hmm, i had a very strong "blogger" mindset earlier and had several idea's prepared. Hopefully they will come back to me, first i guess, girl moaning, or whatever label i will call my observation of the elusive and rejecting oposite sex.

And in the current climate, more the lack there of. Since the whole Daisy thing died i did fuck all in that department. Sure Jade the mucker was a minor fantasy but i didnt do anything there. And the possibility of charming Hope again but i didnt really care about that either. Frankly i did nothing in that front at all. Of course the usual bitterness over several failings but nothing too angry or depressed, just coasted through over the past few weeks. However one odd constant has been spoting a girl a few times who i will name Mystique.

Now let me explain Mystique. As far as i remember before christmas she was a slightly odd really hot blonde girl who i knew little about from my course. Other than seeing she was an 8 or so i didnt see anything about her. Oddly she was the easiest person from my course to notice out and about in town, but i didnt know her. Now when i came home something was different. She had become a red head. And not a dye, a realistic colour and it seem's like it was always her colour. It's almost erie. Infact whats even wierder is how much i see her around, or is it she's easy to notice, im not sure. But she's in my tutorial group, she has a long several-barreled name, and is apparently slightly nerdy, but in the studious sense. As in she knows a lot for someone in our course, actually do work, rare for a nursing student that isnt mature. She's simply or complicatedly mystique because she catche's my eye and i know little to nothing about her. She seem's like a chalange, or an impossible fantasy. But when even jade can make me scared i guess i dont know what im doing any more. Jade is in what i would call a prejudice mindset an "easy target", but not for me. No she seem's like fodder for anyone else but me, and in some aspects that is whats more interesting about her than anything else, she's not the usual. My usual being fucked up people. 

Wow, eh, me and rants, they go together like my fingers and bad spelling.

Hunter S. Thompson:

A genious i am only now starting to read. And i love it! It may only be his private letters at the moment but there's something in how he thinks that i just love. He has a way with words that can just inspire awe.

For example: Who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived, or he who has stayed securely on the shore and merely existed? HST aged 17!

At the moment i think it's he who stay's securely on the shore. But artistic dreams and to some extent consummerism make's us think that experiancing life makes you happier. Well i havent seen that yet. What ive seen is exactly that, a storm that is life. And at the moment im stuck in a trough between swells and being swamped by each wave as i try and avoid them.

Ooooh what an image. I was inspired so far by what i have read and would love to be even a 1/5th of what he is capable of. Just by talking about life achieve a level of clarity and control over his medium of words and so on. Now i wont be sending long arduous emails to my friends waring out my keyboard in the process. No, i also wont be sleeping 4 hours a night, smoking 4 packs a day, or 2 packs of tabbaco for a pipe a day, or being addicted to coffee or taking mind altering drugs. But i still wish to write. And talk about even the most boring things with wit and talent and criticism and so and so forth, and you know author and blog my way through my experiance's.

In other news... eh, i had stuff regarding an explination of my sisters friends that i put off several times but yet again i dont even know why i would say it, i have nothing to say about them. Oh yeah, no i remember, something about comparing them to people in the Ross O'Carrol Kelly books or at least realistic examples of people you could imagine would be in such a book, if not a more accurate one of southsiders that dont speak Dort speak but mingle in similar ways and holiday with certain tax evading businessmen..

But anyway for now i have little left on the tips of my neurons and fingers and will leave open the possibility of a society story for the weekend as i may be attending a party. So there could be gossip or none. Or even possibly nurse gossip, either with my old friends or my new year. Who knows. Plans are not concrete and parentals could be angry at that as they have plans, but ye know, i have a life too and so on.. Well i say that but.