Oh me oh "mi", it has been a good few day's since my last post. I actually hesitated, i actually had things to say and didn't say them, why? Well censorship for one, clarity another, and of course LESS NEGATIVE THOUGHTS. No those red flag's of annoyingness have been confind to my fiction of sorts. Yes i plan to channel my dark passenger into the prose of a slightly odd charecter and try one step at a time to take charge of my real life with as few negative thoughts as possible.
Easier said then done. Admitting it is the first step. Ha, admitting. I know that mainly covers obsessions and addictions but in some aspects in can cover mental illness. But in my case ive known full well im a few bee's short of a bonnett, or insert other phrase here. Basically i'm trying with a more concious effort at the moment to get on the correct path, whateve that be. Mainly a metaphorical thing to do with good positive decisions and a load of whoha that i don't really want to over analyse because I THINK TOO MUCH. No i really do. I may not be a big academic type, sure im slightly on the posh opinionated long winded side, but im not THAT proficiant at it. No i'll return to this later. My rambling and negativity is slightly more grounded than some deep analylitical bs. Or at least it's so cocky and well established that i at least don't think it is... Who knows, my fingers have run away from my intentions, onward to the gossip.
Now i am no Carrie Bradshaw, No gossip girl, No Hunter S Thompson and certainly no... Okay i ran out of people, but you get the jist.
Ah placement, it be over. Fuckadoodledoo. How wonderous not to have to wake at 5am to work a 35 hour week for free for the sake of learning. By the end of all this ill have been in semi-slavery for 4 years of no pay and 1 of midocre pay. I pitty the REAL nursing students. The girls insane enough to work as carers and agency nurse's in their spare time. I'd die on the inside if i had to do all that. I prefare to be the automiton nurse following orders but with a playful smile as i finish my tasks. I don't get to close to patients but i still feel for them on some levels. For me their more minor friends you'd like to see leave. Not in a harsh way, but you'd rather they weren't there. You'd prefare it that none of them were there. It would be great if the hospital's were all empty and you could meet these people under normal circumstance's and actually know them. Instead of poping in to them several times a day and asking to squeeze their arm, shove a probe in thier mouth and interigate them about thier diet, fluid intake and bowel motions and if their in pain. It's just not right. You can't really be friends with someone you have to care for that closely. So i get on with it. After all, im going to finish this crapolloa as i know of nothing else to do in the mean time. Get the fall back job then follow dream's of writting and so on.
Social life's and further sorties via soiree's:
Ah last week was pretty good social wise. Ok sure i didn't go out on paddy's day. That was an failure to plan anything bust. Who knew asking your friends to be your friends could be so difficult, or to get people doing nothing to do something, or to even expect a reply. Ok so i didnt push home an agenda, i didnt have a set plan. I was only finding out stuff, but it still sucked to get nothing. But tis the past now. As even better there was a Soiree at Dona's. Twas all in good fun, if not an odd collection of gammaman's bizzare intelectual harem. No seriously, if i got anything from that night it was that Gammaman appeared to be a free agent or at least slightly desturbing in the company of so many smart younger female's. Now of course i didnt have much to say as is me anyway, and didnt want to contest a essance destroying arguement about Annie Hall, ill return to that. But if anything the person i should suposidly know the most surprised me. I've known him 9 years, and it felt as if i barely knew him. Suspicions and questions rolled around my head and i didn't know what i was thinking, but something was up. Then an odd dream where he was "involved" with yet another Harem member who wasn't there was rather unsettling a dream to have, where's my totty, stupid subconcious!
Now that movie arguement, and my movie arguement. I really dislike The Departed. Mainly because Infernal Affair's is better and somehow more believable. The Departed may be gritty, well acted and full of fowl language but it's OTT, it pushes it too far and somehow feel's longer and make's you care less. And if you've seen the other you know the twist's anyway even if they're different movies, which they're not. It's just a Hollywood rehash that i just can't believe in. It's not the masterpiece people claim. It goes to far to try and be different and become's laughable and annoying compared to the origional movie that you can't get over if you see it first. Now i couldn't articulate my hatred of The Departed the way i wanted. I mostlikely seemed stuburn and missinformed or argumentative, and i suppose i was and am. But it's just to much, Nicholson especialliy is taking the piss, the violence is hyper-violent and less believable. It's more about this dark alien world than the intrigue and tension of the origional. It pushes it and doesnt work the same way.
No i was stuburn about my view of movies again. I slightly more opinionated and seemingly well educated, possibly english student friend of donna's really got my critic juice's flowing and then running in full retreat with my metaphorical tail between my legs, or my falice, which-ever you want to pick on and evicerate. Basically she started Lauding Vickie Christina Barcelona. I had to step in with my poorly constructed "it's shit" argument. Basically i found it boring, un-interesting and in now way good. She instead found some deeper insane non-film viewers analysis of it that was just disturbing. "It's about how american's view barcelona...." and all this insane Arts'y over thinking that NO FAN OF FILM WOULD USE. I then said even worse defended Annie Hall say that it did have a plot. Even worse she went into overdrive about how i didnt and was about a relationship doomed to failure and all this stuff. And i just sat gawping at her. The ball's, the arogance, the over-educated misinformed buzz kill. It's an oscar award winning Rom-com. It may not have a conventional structure but tearing such a masterpiece down with the pointless long words of an art-critic was beneath the brilliance of Annie Hall. You don't get Annie Hall, you don't understand it, You simply WATCH AND LOVE IT. You laugh, you enjoy the charecters. You see the jokes as what they are, you see the characters as they play out. You don't watch LOTR and think it's about the a-bomb! You don't watch Annie Hall and think it's something more than an amazing combination of wit, cinematography and writting.
Yeah, non of that was worth saying. I sat back and just accepted defeat at was a far more opinionated and self-assured arguement. And i call myself a debator. That however was a debate it was education ruining pop culture. I know i like pop culture, id study it if i could but that was just too much. To see something so beloved ripped down in the middle of a friendly gaggle of younger female's and 2 inept former schoolmates. I actually don't know what i intended to say about it all, just to say it. It was a great enjoyable evening, but i couldnt help but feel a little out of place. On the other had i renewed my interest in one of the Harem members who i had noticed first when i returned from Oz. And more and more so id be interested in seeing where that could go, just not sure how to approach it just yet.
Oh, wow, that was a lot on movies.... Collage, i mean College with an accent of course...:
Ah back to lecturne's, i mean lectures. Ah all a bit of the same i guess. Pharmacokenetics, GIT and oh wait that was it. 4 Lectures, somehow very tirering sitting in the same place. Nice to reconnect with Chatterbox, possibly more so than ever but then again we're all each other has in lectures. Noticed the other interests and charecters about the place, most of them infact. Glimpse of mini-j in the distance, side views and the odd spotting of Mystique and i sat infront of Daisy for the last 2 lectures. Basically ignored her, and didn't care to much, the odd fleeting thought. She was playfully friendly with her friends but i didnt pay much attention to it. Noticed as i was leaving what she was wearing, oh tights, to have a gf who wear's tights. Brief glimpse of Jade to. She had been on the luas one of the nights the previous week. Never got talking to her but she said goodbye, possibly aware that i shared a few glance's in her direction. I don't even know why i mention them. All meaningless really. Different stance with Chatterbox but i don't plan on going anywhere there, for one i don't think i'd be interested anyway, or if my aural translation matrix's could keep up.
Oh yeah, last point. 90's trance:
Y'all know that song that's all about "bring me down", i can't place the lyrics. I think it's by ace of base or something. And of course my genre naming is probably off, but that's a song that i'm think is my motto for the moment.
Oh and chance encounters, damn i really have rambled today. Well today in my wonderous procrastination and so on, i ran into Hope briefly. Probably a bad impression if not odd. I rambled and took apart something that was only a off the hand remark, and frankly i don't know why but it was stupid and inane but then again it was what we were talking about and i took it and ran with it. Nice to close on a goodbye joke, but unfortunatly i lost the rubber from my earphone and had to pop back to see if it was still beside her. Then i did a little walkabout and wondering. And one point seeing Cailin with someone i didnt recognise. And taking into account my thoughts about Gammaman i put two and two together and figured things must have been over there for a couple of weeks or more. Or ive blown somekind of trumpet like whistle with a can and some worms in it. But i doubt that. I think i just didnt need to know and i figured all that out on my own seperatly because it wasn't much of a big deal.
Eh, i ran out of things to say i guess. I over did it. And in essance this post IS procrastination, or mind dumping. But it's a large waste of time, thats for sure. Untill next time check out my Dark passenger dumping ground in the form of a sci-fi blog-fic about a reporter obbsessed with vampire's: http://leviathanvirus.blogspot.com/
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