Good Evening from the enorphin pumped brain of a newly manic and slightly self-actualising, or at least good intentioned Social-Dullard.
I have chosen to enter the world of blogging for the mere joy of telling my story in a creative and alter-ego way and as a means of writting a diary with objective opinion. I have chosen to remain semi-annoyminous so as to protect those i know. Slightly hypocritical as i will refer to them in detail, but will invent new names and nick names for most. This is not only to "protect" their persons, but also make it more entertaining, reflect how i think of them, and basically be a fun guessing game, that hopefully isnt too obvious.
The very concept of Social Dullard, is basically old hat for me at this stage. I don't suffer from ID, i actually am a very capable person, and social interaction is not an alien concept. Infact in recent weeks i have budded and wilted only to rise again like a cgi bird in some mediocre ending to a harry potter flic who's name i cant pin. Yes i am a person who suffers from mental illness, depression and possibly bi-polar depression/manic depression are a major part of my life. They did create a cyclical sink hole of self loathing that led to me doing fuck all and failing 2nd year.
Now i will not drone on to much about history etc, i have zillion's of blogs to do such things. And believe you me, i am one opionionated fraked up individual. I guess thats why joining the society has actually helped me so much in recent weeks. That and the insane notion of less time for the same work that my repeat of my course now has. Thats not more incentive to work, its more incentive to skive! IDIOTS! But less of what i should be talking about and more about how much Debating rule's, even if i don't at it.
This weekend just gone twas all hallow's IV. As in the Inter-varsity too the very heart of the true Republic. And The Society had one hell of a strong contigent. I made up half of possibly our worst team however. So bad we placed 3rd last, and i placing 5th last and my partner last. I cant really complain, thats just bitchy, and defeats the purpose. Its the taking part that optomistic go-getters brag about, and frankly, their delluded. But i did enjoy it. And i have no regrets...
Okay, i have many regrets, complaints, rants, questions, postulations, contimplations and manic scary and interesting thoughts. I will however not list them all, as ill be here till i have to sleep, which is A LOT.
I begin with the Aerwagon journey too the republic. Twas all goodish fun. Share-age of some of airplane! with Hope(first person nickname to appear, dont know if i like it), learning how good a phrase Auto-Erotic asphixiation can be from Goldylocks and several odd word games that i couldnt really understand. Then was Kyle-esque hostel and sporadic, spontanious and spoilt (like fruit) halloween shopping, in that it wasnt very fruitful; OY, bad analogy. Anyhoo, free not books, squezypig and Goldylocks Thought about contraception. GammaMan and Cailín posed for more awww photos, introduction thing had funny videos, and first debate was a bit of a mess. Why i used the dog from the dam busters is beyond me, after all swearing is prohibbited, but it was a debate about banning violent music, how could i not mention that miss-guided former insult. By some disastrous miricle we got 2nd in our 2nd debate, our ONLY score. And damn was it a disaster, one of our worst, i guess the socialist ideas of granting amnisty to all current illegal's in the states hit home with the judge... I dont know, but Lenn and Joker did get first, they deserved it. Then it was halloween party after pizza cock up, i blame mario's presance, but thats just referancing a great costume. Struck out in regards to Hope and the rest wasnt all that good, Sarah Palin had surprisingly good legs though.
2nd day. Woke with the smell of Markist socialism in the from of two weak teams trying to tear down Gammaman and Goldylock's capitalist plan to steal inheritance. I was one of those weak teams, and despite having fun it wasnt that good. But i had my Kojack moment, wow, i loved that pun, pitty my timing and relivance were off, i needed more funny! Damn inability to disprove Tarquin! After all he was origionally an investment banker but i forgot to mention that he must have worked for lemann brothers because some how he morphed into an aristrocracy linked barrister, i so should have rip the shit out of that!
Then came the 4th and 5th rounds, both which i loved. But i still wasnt perfect, and my partner let me down. I was the only one who knew something about israel, and more specifically jeruselem and its landmarks and how its devided. I really did have the facts, but i couldnt push the economic implications that well, took to many POI's and my partner was too weak to rebbuttle everything, he also brought new stuff, shame (as in pitty). Then Came and went dry tuna lunch. 5th round. Oh boy, one i knew something about. UNIVERSAL HEALTH CARE! Now i admit i thought it was for developing world at first, which would have been cool to do, but it was developed. So i churned out the best advocacy for health promation i could muster in 7 minutes. Treat the source not the illness, being what i was trying to say. Eventually this would make treating the illness cheaper, yadda yadda. But i wrongly told people i was a nurse. Instantly no one would take any POI's and my arguement may have ruled but it crashed and burned by good rebuttle and we didnt even rank, and it was MY arguement, MY plan, MY mistake to qualify my knoledge in the first 10 seconds!
The society didnt rank after that. The others did, go them. Anything's better than University of constant Dort speak! Although Oxford and UCD really did give it a good ole bash and it was brilliant. But at diner Hope left. And i struck out again. I tried to confirm my feelings etc, dont know if it registered. Then i walked with baby(baby being a 3 litre bottle of cola....) back to Kyle's but seconds later I-T ruined the "altruism" of trying to help or comfert Hope's worrying. So i hit manic mode and flash's of bad things happened in my head, including the thought of actually consuming alcomalhol, sphegetti-monster forbid! The madening walk back to bar helped i guess, finding out results didnt. Walked back not too long after on my ownio. Didnt see any other room people other than a sleeping I-T for about 30 min. The walk and that 30 min were dangerous te fuck! I could have done anything! No one knew where i was and thanfully i kept sane, i really hit low. But all that walking really did help. I thank the Republic for which it stands, it really does, damn those streets are even!
3rd day. Sadish. Didnt talk to Hope despite presance before departure. DVD-age on bus with Letch. Gave away Baby. Then Odd Phone call. I had left my charecter notebook behind in The republic. I dont even know i took it out to read it at the diner, i did fuck all with it. And by some stroke of slightly scary mumbo jumbo a person who judged me twice found it, rang me, and i was able to get Hope to retrive it while i was racing home on the other Big E.
Then happy ranting at home, i was "myself" again. Weekend really helped make me not so dull on social things. Then in the evening i had to accomidate my partner in depression VeryBeary. Wow, i really dont miss feeling that shit. She has it bad, even worse than me, most likely to be more bi-polar than me. Ok so she possibly cant make the analogy that being manic is like an ipod on shuffle, but she really does have problems. That ass person really did screw her over and stuff piles and piles. It really is no slice of pie in her life what-so-ever. I have gotten tired of it all, thats why i lost interest in her as a possible partner and moved onto Hope, but damn i still care about her. A good friend either way, and i hope nothing but the best for her.
I could rant about today... but i wont. First blog diary rant-age down. Many more to come!
A-thank you good night.
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